Like a broken bone leaving its mark, there are events we experience which can change us forever. They can break us into tiny pieces or make us or make us better when put back together again.
Oops, that’s gonna leave a mark!
The break can come as a result of a long-standing relationship, which abruptly comes to an end; or perhaps from losing a job we thought was stable but turned sour in the end. Maybe a moment of inattention caused an accident resulting in a broken bone; or it might be that we are in wrong place at the wrong time, for someone else’s imprudent acts. Social or political situations can cause us to emigrate to other parts of the world; and other situations can cause us to feel like foreigners right where we are.
Time and time again, history tells us that most important isn’t what happens to us, rather how we react to it. Depending on the severity of the fracture we experience, sometimes a little rest is all we need to recover. At other times, more time and energy are required to get back on track again. Ultimately how we heal depends on many different factors, some internal and others external.
External factors are difficult to control, and in many cases, there is little to no chance of changing them. Internal factors are an entirely different situation. How we perceive what is happening is paramount to its resolution. We can play the role of the victim, blaming everyone and everything for out troubles; or we can play the role of the hero, taking responsibility for our thoughts and actions.
Recently, I was asked to share my thoughts and ideas with a Rotary Club. As part of the request, they asked for me to provide them with a recent photo, my title, and a brief biography. While the photo and the biography are a piece of cake to put together, the question about my current “Title” threw me off guard and got me to thinking about the question:
What’s in a title?
From the time we are born, we are assigned different roles and titles. Here are some I have held over the years, roughly in chronological order:
Son Grandson Nephew Cousin Schoolmate Friend Lawn Boy Boyfriend Janitor Pizza Maker House Sweeper Sand Pro Liquor Delivery Guy Pizza Guy Furniture Maker Beer Guy Public Research Guy Marketing Research Guy Graduate in Business Administration Inventory Taker President of Toastmasters
Waiter Master of International Business Husband Cook Registered Representative Investment Executive Senior Investment Executive Father Investment Manager Senior Investment Manager Financial Consultant Vice President / Marketing Director / Latin America President / Director of Inspire Motivational Guy Mentor Speaker Writer Grandfather Musician Composer
While most, if not all, of these titles and roles explain what I have done or my relationship to others, I don’t believe any of them describe me as a person or who I really am. It occurs to me that titles can be thrown around fairly easily. Sometimes they are given with a raise, while at others they are given instead of one. Many titles are designed to impress others, despite those who have them not actually having done anything to earn or deserve them. Other titles are given at birth without any particular merit or work to achieve them.
One title which is in vogue is that of Coach, and many have referred to me as such over the years. Though I don’t typically correct people when they call me a Coach, since I do like to help people reach their objectives, I’ve never really considered myself as one. Many people have studied long and hard to become certified coaches, something I have not done nor am I particularly interested in doing at this time. With so many excellent “Life Coaches” running around, it doesn’t seem to me like the world needs another one.
For the last several years I have referred to myself as a Writer, since lately I haven’t actively pursued my speaking career. Nevertheless, this title doesn’t really seem to accurately reflect who I currently am, my interests, or what I do. As to the request I received about my current title, I decided to resist the temptation of simply giving my standard response of being a Writer, and instead decided to dig a little further to see if I could come up with something which defines who I really am as a person, and not just what I do, or my relationship to others.
I am a big fan of the questions beginning with the words: who, what, where, when, why, and how. When framed properly, these questions can help us to get to the bottom of most things we need to figure out, if we really take the time to answer them honestly, and not just go through the motions of doing so to try and impress others. So, I started with the question:
Who am I?
In my quest, my cousin Stuart, told me of an exercise he used to give his new recruits when he worked as a Navy Recruiter. He would ask them to come up with one word which best described themselves. Much can be discovered about a person, he explained, not only with the word they choose, but more importantly with the explanation of why they chose it. As I pondered and considered the question, this is the one word I came up to describe myself:
Light
I even composed a very simple song with the same title. I am convinced that my mission here on Earth and in life has to do with providing light and guidance to those who need or seek it. After believing for several years that everyone could benefit from what I have to say, I am now convinced that not everyone needs or wants to hear what I have to say; but fortunately for me, some do. When there is already light present and things are clear, no additional illumination is generally needed, but when things are dark and it’s difficult to see anything, a little light can go a long way.
Nevertheless, it seems a bit odd to respond to the question, “What are you?”, by saying, “I am light.” As such, I have expanded a bit on the definition of who I am and what I do as follows:
I provide peace, love, and hope giving light to those who need or want it. Perhaps on my next business card I can simply state my title as: Light Guy.
What about you?
Does your title accurately reflect who you are, or simply reflect what you do?
If you could describe yourself with one word, what would it be?
How would you describe who you are and what you do?
Have you ever noticed that things stay pretty much the same, and yet at the same time can also be so very different?
The Earth continues its trek around the sun, the moon around the Earth, and first light comes just before dawn on the eastern horizon. The daily news is filled with war, hate, dispute, and unfairness. Politicians jockey for position, the middle class looks around in confusion, and the lower class finds making a living increasingly difficult. The song remains the same over the ages of time.
Natural disasters, scientific discoveries, new sources of power and our natural ingenuity all come together to make each day the same, yet also very different from any other. Wars are often waged in words and are won or lost based on who you ask, and whats more, in many cases it’s unclear if there is ever a winner.
Depending on the season, various groups are targeted for hate, be it because they are Jewish, gay, or simply have a different opinion or lifestyle from others. Those in power politically pretty much stay the same, though they trade positions now and then as those who do cross into their world come up the ranks seeking to find their own place in the vast machine of power and control. Those who depend on someone else for a paycheck are constantly looking over their shoulder to make sure their golden egg isn’t taken away from them when they’re not looking, and those who have little or none seem to have even less as time goes on.
While all of these things are a sign of our times, we find them also in virtually any society in recorded history, and they will likely exist for the foreseeable future.
We are a result of our thoughts, and depending on what we put into our mind, we will get different results. If we are constantly talking about how bad the weather is, how terrible politicians are, and focusing on each and every negative aspect we come across, we will be lucky if we can make it out of bed in the morning to face another day.
If, on the other hand, we can realize that all kinds of weather serve an important function in our ecosystem, and as such, any weather is good weather, regardless of how bad it may seem to us mere mortals. Rain gives much needed moisture, wind helps to remove dead branches from trees which no longer need them and to pollinate flowers. The sun warms us, nourishing us with her presence even when its cloudy.
Politicians are neither good or bad as group, though individually some leave much to be desired. They simply are a distinct breed who operate in a world difficult for most of us fully understand. The majority start with good intentions and some are able to make outstanding contributions to their communities. Most end up positioning themselves for power in a game of favors which has been around since the beginning of time.
We can focus on the good or the bad we see in the world and in people. No doubt we can find both if we look hard enough. Instead of imagining the world as we would like it to be, we can be more realistic in our expectations. Rather than wishing things would stay the same and being disappointed when they are not, we can instead accept that some things will change regardless of our wishes, and when they take a turn for the worse, all we can ever possibly do is to continue moving forward one step at a time and day by day.
As you look through this list, you can see that each comes in the form of an affirmation. This too is another lesson I have learned. While affirmations may sound strange initially, especially if we are not walking the talk; our mind obeys the instructions we give it. Affirmations bring our hopes and dreams into the present. We can easily present these same lessons as declarations:
I will be grateful for this day
I will empower the past
I will have hope for the future
I will live in the moment
I will take action today
I will keep busy
I will do what is important
I will be useful to others
I will believe in a higher power
Declarations often sound very nice and noble, but can come up short for one simple reason, they depend on our “will” and our “willpower” can flag when we need it most to achieve our goals and objectives. It’s not enough to know what we want. We all want something in life, but to get there, we most often have to do something more than sitting around hoping it may someday happen.
You can see some of my favorite DECLARATIONS behind each of the pictures above on my Instagram account.
Affirmations are much different. They don’t talk about what we might one day do, rather about what we can do, right now.
Why is this important and why should you care?
Our minds are like gardens. The better we take care of them, the more amazing they can become. If we are filling our thoughts with vague notions of what our lives might one day be, our minds can easily overlook the information as no more than another item on our never-ending list of To Do’s.
A lack of willpower can quickly douse the greatest of plans. Rather than conditioning our minds to do something in the future, we can instead prepare the garden of our mind with rich, fertile soil to grow and prosper to its full potential by using affirmations which indicate exactly what we need to do, to get to where we want to be.
Over the years I have made many declarations to myself, and others, with varying degrees of success. Of the most important of my lessons learned in life, I am convinced it makes much more sense to affirm what we want in life right now than declare what may one day be.
Like the wind, opportunity is almost always present, yet rarely evident. Sometimes it sneaks up on us like a gentle breeze, while at others it can knock us over with its force.
Most often we are submerged in our own little worlds, virtually unaware of its presence. Some successfully harness its power to better their lot in life, while others brace themselves against it, preferring to stand fast where they are as it whirls about, rarely considering it as anything more than a nuisance. Many of us complain about our lack of opportunity, yet it is available to all who are willing use its strength to take us to places we never thought possible.
Like a sailboat which uses the wind to get from one place to the next, we too use opportunity to get around. Much of the time, like a boat anchored in port, we rise and fall with the tide, seeking to escape from the wrath of the winds force when it becomes too strong. Yet, if we play our cards right, it can take us to faraway places and amazing new spaces, if only we are willing to unfurl our sails and garner its strength.
Like a sailor who learns to sail the ocean blue by harnessing the wind, we too can also learn to use opportunity to our benefit, rather than simply bracing against it. While we can take advantage of opportunity before we are prepared for it, being ready for it allows us to best utilize its power. The right opportunity without proper preparation can lead us to a seemingly endless sea of nothingness, or perhaps even leave us stranded on some deserted isle.
From the time we are born, to our final days, the winds of change and opportunity take us here and there.
Have you ever thought about this?
The history books are filled with stories of those who go from rags to riches by effectively using opportunity to their best advantage. So too we find accounts of how many who are born in the lap of luxury, and seemingly endless opportunities, yet end up crashing into the rocks of some unknown coast, leading no where.
What makes the difference?
Life plays no favorites. We are all given 24 hours a day and 365 days a year to do as we please, though often we don’t think this is so. The fact is that we can remain as we are, resisting the winds of change and opportunity which threaten to take us to unknown places, or we can fill our sails with its force to take us where we want to go. While many stand firm refusing to budge against its power, others are take hold of opportunity flowing with it, rather than resisting it.
Many say luck is when opportunity meets preparation. So too is the case when the winds of change beckon us to succumb to its ever-present force. If we take an opportunity before we are properly prepared, we can end up someplace else, though we can learn from the experience as it takes us there. Contrarily, being properly prepared for opportunity when it comes our way can take us to new, exciting ports in exotic and interesting places.
Life brings opportunity daily, but on us it depends whether it leads us to frustration and failure, or to outstanding, fabulous success. Rather than resisting the winds of change and opportunity, we can prepare for them and then take them, so they may guide us to achieve our greatest desire.
A reflection over this present moment as it relates to the past and to the future.
Why are we all here?
What is this all for?
As for me, I’m not really sure, but I do know that there seems to be some grand plan behind all we have before us, and take granted for, on a daily basis. Could it be simple chance that everything works so perfectly? The sun and the clouds, the mountains and the streams, the birds and the bees, as well as you and me?
Doesn’t it all seem eerily perfect, as if the ideal picture of what Heaven can truly be?
And it is indeed Heaven, when we see it that way. Every breath of air we take is a blessing from some place which many seek to explain and understand, yet few know for sure the truth of it all; and of those who claim they do, I doubt much of what they say as well.
Can any of us truly know what all this craziness about us has to do with time, in the grand scheme of things? Can what we do today or tomorrow really make any difference in the grand scheme of it all?
I think so…
After all, we only ever have this moment right now and magic can happen when we least expect it. If you think about it, anything can happen in the next 24 hours, but much more than that, the future will be influenced by what we do in this exact instant of time, because it is all we ever really have.
Is this all nonsense?
This may be, but yet for some reason I come here to try and make sense of all of this with you; and too with myself in attempt to gain a better understanding of our existence.
Does it really matter?
Is it important?
Again, I think so. How many of us get up each day and go about our way without every really thinking about what is important in life?
Most of us, I would say. So it can pay great dividends to take a moment and reflect about our place in the whole scheme of things, as you too are now doing, since you are still with me. Are we only here on Earth to go through the motions without ever considering how what we do influences our surroundings.
Think for a moment about possibility. It is always present and in this exact instant, we can set into motion our greatest dreams and desires. But, we need to take action to do so, otherwise the song remains the same. Consider the following:
If you have a deep desire to get in touch with someone who was an important part of your life, you can do so. You may or may not meet with success, or you may even create a problem where there is none. But right now, without over-thinking it, you can initiate the process. That one call, e-mail, SMS, or Whatsapp could change your life forever. That friend could be someone you always wanted to start a business with, or perhaps an old flame which never extinguished. Or it could be nothing at all. Maybe all that happens as a result is the exchange which goes something like this: “Hey how are you?” Being responded with a, “Fine, thanks,” with a little emoji and a thumbs up sign to to confirm this to be true. My point is that something is set in motion by virtually all we do.
Maybe you always wanted to live in a certain neighborhood, or in a particular house. Recently you saw a “For Sale” sign in the front yard, and you are wondering if you should call or not. You know it would cause major disruption in your life and is an expense you can ill afford, but, it’s your dream house!
You could pick up the phone right now, call the Realtor and ask to go see the home. So many possibilities open up from there, one of which could be a curt response saying it has already been sold. But so too, it could lead to you actually living in that home you always dreamed of. It could happen, but it only if you do something. There is no other option. No tomorrow, only now. Tomorrow may be to late and yesterday already happened.
Life doesn’t happen then and there, rather here and now. It is not about what once was, or what one day will be. There is magic in this moment, and this special quality has to be with the seed of possibility. You can plant a seed right now, right here today, which can change your life forever.
We can begin to pursue our passions, instead of punching the clock for some crass, ungrateful asshole. We can begin to march to the beat of our own drum, rather than getting beat over the head by some stupid idiot. We can begin to do as we please, rather than doing as we are told.
In 24 hours, our lives can be completely different than they are right now, depending on what we do right now, in this moment. If we are content with what we are doing, how we are doing it, and who we are doing it with; by all means let’s just keep doing that, thank you very much! But if not, why not do something to change it.
If we are in an impossible work situation, we can do something right now to change it. We can ask for a transfer to a different department, or update our resume to look for another position. We can learn more about what really interests us, and consider how we can do what we love, and get paid for it.
Life is an open playing field for all. There is absolutely no one who can limit what we can achieve, except for ourselves. We can look to any type of job or business and find people who have come all different areas of life to become one of the best in their business. Without a doubt, some are given many more opportunities to succeed, and this helps many, though hinders others who are given the exact same set of circumstances, but screw it up despite the most favorable of conditions.
So too there are those who are born under the worst of circumstance, and with the most undesirable upbringings, who become super stars in what they do.
Why do some rise to the top of the heap in their chosen field of endeavor; while others sink to the bottom, regardless of what they choose to do?
While many factors are certainly attributable to our ultimate success and failure in life, one key ingredient seems to be to remain in the magic of this moment, rather than being allured away to the past or the future. While the past creates our present state, only what we do (or do not do) right now ultimately influences our future.
It’s really quite simple. What we do in this instant creates our future, for better or worse. If we are happy with the direction we are going, let’s keep headed there, if not, and if we feel have not yet achieved our full potential, or if there is some aspect in our lives which is not ideal; then it’s time to do something about it.
Isn’t this what sets winners apart from losers?
Though, in reality, what is “winning” or “losing” but a perception of a situation? Some of those who have had the biggest failures in life sometimes end up with outstanding success. While those who have been on top of the world can too fall to the depths of depression. Once again, I propose that life is not about what happened there and then, or about what one day might be, but only about this moment, right here, right now. Everything happens right now, in this moment.
If we content with how things, let’s party on Wayne: if not, why not use this moment to do something about it?
Is all just as you want it to be, or is there something you would like to do to change about your current circumstance?
June 8, 2021 marked an important milestone in my life. It was on this day that my family gave me my first harmonica for my 59th birthday. While I thought having one of these tiny instruments might be fun, I never realized the effect it has had on me since that time.
I have literally had my harmonica by my side since then. The infrequent moments when I have misplaced it have caused me no small amount of duress. Over the last several months, and in the process, I’ve lost a screw, popped another one two. and popped screws and blown a reed, but my Blue Blazer still serves me despite her battle scars.
I have learned much, in particular with Luke, an excellent teacher at www.harmonica.com; and watched countless videos of pros and wannabes, all with something to say about this magical instrument. Before going to bed at night and as I wake up in the morning, I have melodies playing in my head. I imagine how the harp will sound when I finally figure out some of its more subtle capabilities. I realize now that the harmonica is perhaps one of the easiest instruments to play, but which can take a lifetime to master.
I’m just getting started as I approach six months with my harp. During that time, I haven’t read quite as much as I typically do and my writing has been limited to a few blurbs here and there. But on the upside, practicing with it every day has helped me to understand this magical little instrument and slowly but surely, I’m starting to get the hang of it. At least to me my playing sounds a bit better, though to others it may still sound a bit like a shrieking cat.
I’ve learned that even with a blown 4 draw, I still have 19 holes left, with a whole lot of sounds I can make, even without that D note and all its permutations, on my C key harmonica. I’ve learned that if you have the right key harmonica and have a decent sense of timing, you can probably play along pretty well with most songs in the same key by playing chords. Things get a bit more tricky with single notes and melodies, but this also is where the real fun starts.
Now, when I hear music, I stop and listen to each sound and imagine the instrument creating it. I think of how much practice each musician has endured to be able to play at that level, and how far I’ve yet to go on my own journey to be able to do the same.
I hear scales in my head as I go to bed and wake with them still rising and falling as I start my day again. When I lost my D note (I later learned this is a natural phenomenon caused by a lot of playing or doing so too hard), I started playing the Blues scale on the piano because I could no longer play it on my harp. Now I am able to go up and down that scale pretty well in the keys of D and E. I hear people talk of other types of scales, of their steps, and so many other things which simply heighten my interest and make me want to learn more about the music which has always been around me, but never quite taken hold of me as it now has.
My greatest interest with the harmonica, as it is with many who play an instrument, is to be able to play by ear. I am beginning to understand that some theory is helpful on our way. Knowing how scales are formed, the differences between those that are Major and those that are Minor, as well as other nuances helps me to put together what once seemed like Greek.
Over the last several months, I have sat down on several occasions to put in writing my thoughts about how music I now hear in my mind has invaded my life. Sometimes I’ve gotten down only a few lines, and at others I’ve written a bit more. Each is very similar, and yet at the same time different.
Following are a collection of ideas that all have to do with being in harmony with life.
Bobby McB
The Scale of Life
We are each like a musical note on the scale of life. By ourselves we lack diversity and our existence can certainly be monotonous. With others we are multifaceted and can create sweet symphony.
We might even say that when we get along with others we are playing in the same key; while with others, try as we might, we never quite jibe and most certainly are off key. This doesn’t mean we are any better or worse than they, simply different. Being in harmony isn’t always easy.
If we play in D, we just may not fit into a world of those in the key of C’s. Our best efforts may just be thwarted until we find some with whom we are more in tune.
Life is a Symphony
Life is a symphony from beginning to end, Each day we live forms part of our song.
We are a note in each melody that plays, And ours is often to simply play along.
The Melody of our Tune
Have you ever thought that life is much like a symphony?
Each day is a song making up the great whole. We are the notes which make the melody of our tune.
Sometimes we strike a chord with others we meet making a sweet sumptuous sound, while at others no matter how we try, the sound comes out squeaky or flat.
The Language of Music
Life is a symphony with a myriad of songs brought forth by a wide variety of thoughts and emotions.
We are each a note within the great whole. Sometimes we play together in harmony with those around us. At other times it doesn’t matter what we do, we are just a little off key. Though we are all similar, we are all so very different as well. As we each have a unique thumbprint, so too is our note not just exactly like any other. With certain people we just seem to click and strike a chord. With others try as we might, we get nothing more than discord.
Luke says that playing music is a lot like language. Though we all use the same words and a similar grammatical structure, we each have much different ways of expressing ourselves. The harmonica brings out the best, and at times the worst, of this expression.
Some of our symphonies are spectacular masterpieces which hold beg for attention with each successive note; others are no more than karaoke in the shower, in a never ending chorus of different songs which while similar to those of others, lack the depth and expression which are the makings of sweet symphony.
Through the first part of our lives we set the tone for how our symphony of life will be played. If we learn, are open to criticism, and follow our heart, we are likely to get all we need to create a wonderful vibe in our own symphony of life.
Each day is like another song, full of crescendos, Led often by circumstance and innuendo.
My Blown 4 Draw Reed
The Sound of Music
Life is like a symphony which begins when we are born. Some start loudly with a flurry of sound and emotion, Others quietly, waiting for something to happen.
Our emotions play the notes of each song that plays. Some days play an allegro reaches crescendo, Others are melancholic in diminuendo.
Our feelings ebb and flow with the sound of the music. Sometimes events can cause massive confusion, Others with a beat which brings resolution.
The melody takes us methodically from day to day. At times we are guided by a big bass back-beat. Others, hearing anything at all is a great feat.
The melody we play depends on the notes we feel. There are times when they ring sharp and clear, Others when they are dull and difficult to hear.
Yet each day as we begin the day a new tune begins. On us it depends what kind of music we will make, We have the power to make it magic or fake.
Strike a Chord
Life is like a symphony where we each have our roles. Some vibrate in the key of “C”, while those around us May be “D’s”, “E’s”, or perhaps “A’s”, “B’s”, “F’s” or “G’s”.
With some we strike a chord, With others only discord.
We each play a melody As our part of the symphony.
Sometimes we are slow and flat, Others we are sharp and fast.
At times we are a sweet lullaby, At others, mass cacophony.
In moments we play out loud, In others, blend into the crowd.
We can stand up and be heard, Or disappear into our own little world.
Each day we are given a stage on which to play. On each it depends which tune we carry every day.
Tic – Toc
Have you ever noticed that life is very similar to a symphony?
Each of us are like notes in a grand melody which takes us through life. Those around us accompany our tune and form part of rhythm. Like a radio station playing different sounds at different times, so too goes the melody we play as we go through time.
The tic-toc of the never ending clock is like a metronome clicking silently in the background, marking time for our song. Sometimes the tempo is kicked up several notches, while at others becomes little more than a deep, steady beat, as is the case when we sleep.
Like the notes belonging to certain keys in music, we too are like those notes. C’s get along swimmingly with E’s and G’s, not always as much with A’s and F’s. And, of course, there are those who are sharp and/or flat, what’s up with that?
Sometimes we seem to go along in harmony with our surroundings, feeling comfortable with those around us and our environment. Then at others we are ill at ease and uncomfortable for some inexplicable reason.
Others around us march on in time to their own beat, rhythm and rhyme; sometimes forming part of our melody, and at others simply lost in their own tune. We have moments when everything seems to click just so, and others when nothing seems to come out right.
Yet the more that we practice, the better we seem to get in the never-ending path to figure out how to make harmony with the world around us. Perhaps this is one of the most amazing things about the harmonica is that your blow holes are always in harmony with the key of C, while your draw holes are so with the key of G. That is precisely why you do not need to know about music theory to play the harp!
Similar to those who can whistle or sing in tune, the instrument becomes nothing more than a means to an end. As you go up the harmonica, the tones become sharper and as you come down they become flatter. Of course, you have to be aware of the double draw on the 6 and 7 to keep the scale going in the right direction, but other than that, with a little bit of practice you can be playing a pretty mean Itsy Bitsy Spider.
Now without my beloved 4 draw, which a bent to the point of eventually breaking, I learn many things. First and foremost is that the harder you play the harmonica, the shorter it will last. The second is that even without that one note, I can learn to play around it, or go up or down an octave to get the same melody. The third is that now I am beginning to hear the notes as if for the very first time as I practice nice, long, slow tones, just as Luke suggests.
Have you ever wanted to learn to play an instrument, or if you do play one like to have the ability to carry it around with no hassle, buy a harmonica! It could be the beginning of something great!
Ode to my Organ
What is this?
Some may laugh and others may snicker, But my organ is incredible, of that none can bicker.
I walk around with it in my mouth all day, To the delight of some and to others dismay.
Some may think it rather small, But with it, I truly have a ball!
I take it with me wherever I go, And seek to play it like a pro.
I keep it at always at hand, Ready to join the band.
Then when I put it in its case, I hold it firmly by the base.
Others may play with it now and then, But it is my very own special friend.
Life is much like an enormous hourglass which represents time. Within it, we can see all the time passing before us on the bottom, and all the time yet to come on the top.
We are like a single grain of sand in this hourglass of eternity and it could be said our life starts as we pass through the narrow neck in the apparatus. As we are born, we are led first on a wild fall, as gravity takes us down. When we reach the bottom part, we slip and slide for awhile, before eventually coming to rest; where unless someone turns over the hourglass, we will remain until the end of time.
Consider also that everything, animate or not, also is an hourglass of time. The computer I now type on, the pens and paper by my side, along with everyone I have ever known or now know, is also subject to a beginning an an end.
Have you ever considered that every single thing in turn is also like its own individual hourglass?
Might it be that when we have kids that we create another hourglass which somehow also contains part of us?
What about a teacher who has particularly influential over his/her students, or a neighbor who has been helpful to others?
What about a loved one who is gone but who still comes to mind frequently to with words of wisdom and advice, despite having passed away?
Could it be this is somehow what is meant by eternity?
Might it be that as long as people think about us that our own hourglass of time is somehow turned over again and again?
Certainly, I do not know the absolute answers to these questions, yet I can ponder upon our own existence just as well as any other. As I consider this great question, if there is one universal truth remaining true between most religions and politics, it is that good deeds should be done to reap positive rewards.
Perhaps each time we do a good deed, we are rewarded with a bit more sand in our own hourglass of time and for each bad deed some is taken away. Though somehow this doesn’t seem to me to be so likely.
So too from where we once came, so too surely we will one day go. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust is what they say. It seems to me we may all simply be a small grain of sand in the great hourglass of eternity.
Though we may be ever so small in the great scheme of things, we too can make the most of our own hourglass of time by making the most of each and every moment.
Recently I was talking to one of my very best friends David Jones, about relationships. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember and for most of our lives. He explained to me a concept which makes a lot of sense when it comes to virtually all of our relationships, whether they be personal or professional.
He told me relationships, both good and bad, are based primarily on three elements:
1) Trust 2) Respect 3) Honesty
Subsequently, I did a bit of research on the subject and have found several similar models with slightly different terminology for different applications. Nevertheless, I like the the way he explained it with these terms.
Trust in a relationship is not something which comes easily. On the contrary, it is something that is built over time, and is largely based on the respect and the honesty we give to others. If we respect others and are honest with them, trust in the relationship is fostered. If we do not respect others and are not honest with them, trust is rarely built.
We can choose to respect others and be honest with them but if we trust them blindly, we will often be disappointed. Think for a moment about most scam artists. They tend to try and build trust by weaving a story which leads us to believe what they are saying is true. If we give our trust too quickly, they are likely to walk away with our hard earned money or something else we own.
If after getting to know someone we feel they respect us and are honest with us, we will tend to trust them. Even so, we can still get burned as they may have simply been tricking us all along to get what they want. Nevertheless, there comes a time in a relationship where we need to begin to trust people. This can come rather quickly when we get a good “feeling” about someone, or it can take years before we truly trust them.
Respecting others in terms of their thoughts and ideas is often a matter of common courtesy. We are all different and come from a different set of circumstances. No one is “better” or “worse” than another, we are simply different from one another. By definition if we had grown up under the same conditions and with the same opportunities of another, or lack thereof, we would most likely act just as they do.
Honesty is most often related to communication. When we tell others the reasons why we do the things we do and feel the way we do, we slowly begin to build a relationship which can be based on a solid foundation of trust rather than a flimsy set of lies.
If we want to build better relationships, we can start by respecting others and being honest with them as to our desires and intentions, rather than not respecting them and lying just to get what we want. This does not guarantee the person will trust us or that we establish a strong bond, but it’s a great start.
Have you ever noticed we carry our own weather within us?
Sometimes we feel bright and sunny, others dim and gloomy. The weather outside can, and often does, influence the way we feel inside but this isn’t necessarily always the case, nor does it have to be.
There are days when we wake up rip, roaring, and ready to rock; and others when all we really want to do is to pull the covers over our head and stay in bed. Many circumstances influence our own weather within including our health, our emotions, the weather outside, and the weather within those around us. What’s more, we can go from feeling truly fabulous to absolutely terrible in an instant.
What is behind the weather we hold within?
Why is it so variable and what can we do to make it better?
Similar to the weather outside, our own is in a state of constant flux. The barometric pressure indicates a change in the weather, for better or for worse. So too do our own thoughts and emotions generally indicate where our own weather is headed.
We all have different triggers affecting how we feel. Some individuals can harm others, deceiving, robbing, and perhaps even killing others, yet not feel a drop of remorse; while others will ruminate for days causing a maelstrom in our mind only for a few unkind words exchanged with another. Some are able to change their weather inside in a heartbeat, while others toss and turn at its will.
None of us are the same. There is no pat answer which works for all. Nevertheless, here are a few ideas to optimize your own weather within:
Fill your mind with positive thoughts and ideas.
Understand that just because it is raining outside, you need not cry on the inside.
Exercise and eat well to give your body the energy it needs to optimize your own weather within.
Realize that as terrible as your weather inside may be, there is always renewed hope in the dawn of a new day.
Surround yourself with people who are generally sunny inside, offering them some of your sunshine whenever they feel stormy.
Determine to be a thermostat, being the master of your own climate; rather than a thermometer, merely reflecting the temperature around you.
As the weather outside changes, so too does the environment. After the rain comes the sunshine, after the winter comes the summer, after the light comes the dark. Perhaps we too can learn to understand that the harshest lessons of life often bring its greatest lessons.
While this certainly is much easier said than done, we can positively influence our weather inside. The wind, the humidity, and the temperature affect the weather outside. When we realize that our health, our emotions, and above all our thoughts, create our own weather within, we can better manage our own disposition so it is bright and sunny, rather than dim and gloomy.
If so, I’ve got a solution! It can be as simple as 1, 2, 3…
If you are like most people, you don’t have one problem, you have many. Often our only wish is to have no problems at all, yet they are inherent in life. Have you ever stopped to think about this?
The only people who don’t have problems are those who are dead. If we really think about it though, they too had problems, it’s just that when they died, likely they left them to someone else. Will there ever be a time in your life when the telephone and electricity bills won’t have to be paid, or that you won’t have to replenish the food you just ate?
Many of us are addicted to “To Do Lists”. We write down all the things we have to get done and somehow believe accomplishing each item on the list will make our problems go away, and those on the list do! But just as quickly as we take care of one set of problems, have you ever noticed how others seems to pop up?
Being this the case, having problems means one thing. It means we are alive, and this is certainly a great place to start! For now anyway, it certainly seems to beat the alternative. So be glad you have problems, for the day you don’t will likely be the day when you pass yours on to someone else.
In terms of the problems themselves, there is always a solution. We may not like it or may not be willing to implement it, but there is a way to solve any problem we might have. It isn’t necessarily “easy” to solve, but in most cases doing so is a fairly “simple” process. Follow these straightforward steps to find solutions to your problems:
1) Get Busy – Don’t just sit there looking glum thinking about what’s wrong, get busy to find out how to make it right. If a call needs to be made, make it; if a change needs to be implemented, implement it; if you don’t know what needs to be done, find someone who does. Don’t wait for the problem to go away because it rarely does, and the situation is likely to get worse before it gets better.
2) Be Useful – Most things we do in life somehow involve other people. Not many of us can get along for too long without somehow relying on others. For example: if your problem is not having enough money, think of how you can be useful to others in order to generate the cash flow you need. Everybody has a variety of needs. If your need is money, you simply need to find something you can do to fulfill the needs of others and you will be well on your way to solving your money problem.
3) Be Grateful – This seems to be a given, but in so many cases it is not. We are quick to complain about the weather, our aches and pains, or whatever it is we don’t like about our clients and neighbors. It is fairly easy to find things that are “wrong” with our current situation, but when you start going down this path, do an about face, change your direction and begin enumerating all of the things that are “right” with your life. Are you breathing? That’s one. How about your heart, is it beating? There’s another… I think you get the idea. When we begin to look around our immediate surroundings there is generally an incredibly long list of things for which to be grateful.
Take each day one at a time. Rome was not built in a day, and while many problems can be dealt with in a relatively short period of time, others take longer. Don’t lose heart when problems mount up. Take each in turn, doing what can be done today by being busy, useful, and grateful. Doing so can help you solve your problems as simple as 1, 2, 3!
Have you ever thought about how much money people spend to try and look younger? People subject themselves to surgeries, harsh diets, and killer workouts often in an attempt to shave a few years off of their appearance. But I wonder, should we really be concerned with how we look or how we feel?
No doubt that a scalpel can make us look better in a heart beat, but how long will the results last? The same can be said for radical diets and exercise, often quickly forgotten after the desired results are attained, or tossed to one side if they don’t work immediately. For the long run, doesn’t make sense for us to change our lifestyle and our habits, so not only will we look better, but more importantly, feel better as well?
Since my ride on an airplane in the early 1990’s with a very fit man who was almost 80, I have done exercise pretty much every day. He explained to me the virtues a workout he had done since being in the Royal Canadian Airforce, called the Five Basic Exercises (5BX RCAF). The only exception to my exercises was a time period between 2018 and 2020, when after slipping and falling, I hurt my back. Because of my pain, I justified not doing my daily exercise, first for a few days, but which then led to weeks and months. While I made a pretty good case to myself as to why I wasn’t exercising, the overall result affected not only my energy level, but also my attitude.
I had what Zig Ziglar refers to as “Stinking Thinking”. I was lethargic and found myself moving around like a little old man. About a year ago, I decided to see if I could find some exercises that would help me to strengthen my back, and fortunately, I found several. After several weeks of doing them and working on my core, my back got stronger and was no longer hurting as it once did. Several months later, I realized I had not gotten back into my daily routine of exercise, so I made an effort to do so. Since that time, my energy levels have increased and my attitude has gotten better.
Better yet, my new exercise routine now incorporates several things I like. I call it Juventus. Besides being the name of one of the most famous soccer teams in the world, also means young or youthful (coming from the ancient Roman goddess named Juventa). It combines the following:
Seeds of Success (a series of quotes I have memorized from different sources)
You can click on any of the links above to take you to examples of each. While it seems to me that just about any type of exercise will do, this combination works for me. Our lifestyle, with all of its conveniences, has led many of us to be lazy and subject to obesity. In terms of diet, there are many different opinions and each can sound convincing. Some tout high protein or high carbohydrate based diets. Others claim being a vegan or a vegetarian is the right way to go. My overall favorite, which I have put into practice also since the early 1990’s, is the Anti-Diet.
Regardless of the exercise and diet plan we choose to follow, most important is to follow a routine that works for our body type and schedule. Exercise does not have to be done in a gym, and a proper diet isn’t always to lose weight. Walking briskly is said to be one of the best overall workouts and a diet consisting of all food groups can provide tremendous results (when combined properly and eaten in moderation).
If you find yourself either over or underweight, and/or with problems maintaining your energy, the good news is that you can start a program today which will can have you feeling better as soon as tomorrow. Discover what kind of exercise you enjoy and a diet that works for you. When you do, you can begin not only to look younger, but more importantly, feel better.
Have you ever considered how many things our body does without us even thinking about it?
Our heart beats, our lungs breathe, and the rest of our body does its thing as we go about our daily deed. I don’t know about you, but I find it fascinating how all this gets done. We are able to walk upright without falling down, eat and the digest our food most of the time, barely aware of all our bodies do just to accomplish the simplest of tasks. Yet all this is all somehow done, usually without our conscious knowledge.
I propose: we must have little guys inside who take care of all these things. Do you remember Biology? I suppose these little guys are really called cells, but to me they certainly seem like a whole bunch of workers, all moving in a coordinated effort to do one primary thing: to keep us alive and well.
We know that we have many different kinds of cells. Sometimes they work in harmony, and others in opposition. Some of our cells keep our vital functions going, others are in our brain, controlling virtually all our thoughts and actions. Still others are in our blood stream and in our skin. Each of these cells is constantly in a process of evolution and change, very similar to our own life process. As new cells are born from the existing ones, the older ones die or are no longer viable. Through all this magnificent concert of action between and among our cells, we are largely unaware of all that is going on, yet its song continues within us 24/7, when we are awake, when we are asleep; from the day we are born, to the day we die.
I imagine our cells to be workers, each belonging to a different part of our body. Some of our little guys belong to vital organs, assuring each keeps doing what it’s supposed to do. Many of our little guys are in the brain, likely with separate committees for our emotions, actions, and other basic functions. Some work on the surface of our bodies, forming protective barriers against intruders and fighting off enemies through movement, as well as promoting blood clotting to keep us from bleeding to death.
As we consider all our little guys inside do for us: shouldn’t we do our best to keep them healthy, enabling them to better do their job? Isn’t it the food we eat, the things we drink, the air we breathe, and the thoughts we keep what gives our little guys the “nutrients” they need to operate at peak performance?
Seems to me we often complicate health matters far too much. If we have learned anything in our existence here on the planet, it’s that there seems to be a grand scheme of things providing each living being with what it needs to survive. In our case, food, water, air, and thoughts are what our little guys need to accomplish their mission. While it’s not always possible: what about if we put in our bodies only things that grow out of the ground, fly, swim, or walk around? Must we put so many chemicals in our body?
When we treat our bodies as if they were temples, exercising them and only allowing good things inside, our ability to fight off physical and mental disease, as well as negativity becomes much stronger than if we fill them with garbage and so much other rubbish.
Stop, look, and listen to the world around you, there is so much to see, feel, and experience! Have you noticed how these days our phones seem so insistent on giving us notifications?
They come to us in a grand myriad of ways, each designed to take us to a different place, and often in a different direction. Telecommunications and social media have become an information warehouse where we are the merchandise. We are itemized, categorized, and packaged into convenient little boxes, ready for use.
These days we can be talking about something one minute and the next receive an advertisement to buy it. Big Brother is indeed watching! George Orwell wasn’t too far off with some of his predictions, except that rather than being monitored to be rewarded or chastised; our habits and movements are being tracked to sell us things. Everywhere we turn there is something else to buy, a new promotion, a new idea or a different approach.
Maybe this isn’t a bad thing, after all, if we are sold what we want, perhaps it saves us time. Yet sometimes it seems the electronic nature of our world can become a bit too much. We are constantly inundated with offers to buy things or to make a new investment. Between radio, television, telephones, and billboards, we are bombarded with offers, each vying for our attention, and ultimately wanting our money or participation in something or another.
While it’s tough to turn off the visual barrage of information as we go about our way, we can control our “electronic exposure”. We can decide to be in control of what we see and when we see it.
We can do so by doing the following:
First, and most importantly, simply turn OFF all notifications on your phone, except for those that are vitally important, like phone calls. As soon as you do, I guarantee you will feel a sudden sense of relief from all the bells and whistles normally being emitted from the device. Instead of constantly looking at your phone whenever it pings or pangs, you can do something more important with your life than following advertisers links from one place to another.
My second suggestion is to establish a time when you are ON to the world, and a time when you are OFF. I like 8 am to 8 pm to be on, since most things can generally be taken care of during those hours. From 8 pm to 8 am, I sometimes have the phone on, but I generally stay away from social media and messaging, using it only for listening to music, taking pictures, or watching movies.
How long does it take for you to grab your phone and check your messages in the morning?
If you are like many people, it’s the first thing you do. Instead of starting your day with your phone, what about starting your day by reading a good book, talking with your mate, or simply having a cup of coffee while watching the sunrise?
This may sound okay except that you may want to say good morning to a special someone somewhere. If that’s the case, by all means do it! Maybe you can even have a virtual “cup of coffee” with them. Turn on your phone, call them up, and video if possible. Not a problem, but after you do it is there something else you can do rather than simply scrolling through the endless stories, posts, tweets, and e-mails which have become such a part of our lives?
Unless you have some vital information you are waiting for first thing in the morning, how about giving your mind a break for awhile before turning on your phone, using it when you are ready to start your “electronic day”, rather than grabbing it automatically as you wake up?
Our phones are vital to many of the things we need to get done in today’s world and we should use them to be more productive. But, instead of letting them dictate how much time we spend on them and what we do with them, we can be their masters rather than their slaves. Instead of automatically picking your phone up every little while to see what has happened in the world whenever it dings, instead you can decide when to pick it up and how long to spend on it.
There is so much to see, feel, and experience in the world which is not contained within the small screen of our mobile devices. Take the time to stop, look, and listen to the world around you by turning OFF notifications and turning ON life.
The harsh reality is that we are each very much like a puppet on a string. Like the toy figurine which moves as someone above manipulates the strings, our actions are often controlled by someone or something else.
Virtually all of us are subject to the great puppeteer called nature which indicates when we should eat and when we should sleep, when we should seek a mate and when we should be inventive and create. So too are the majority of us subject to the strings governments pull, taking us to and fro, paying taxes, fees, and other dues. Many are subject to the strings of an employer or other overseer who manipulates their every move, doing their best to squeeze each bit of benefit they possibly can from their employ.
Many of us live in “free” countries, where we can do as we please, as long as it doesn’t interfere with a gamut of strings which inevitably pull us here and there.
Is it possible to break free from all of these strings which seem to direct our every move?
Likely many will continue to dictate our behavior regardless of what we do, yet we can take control of many of which others seem to tug as they see fit..
What to do?
Are you confused?
In order to better direct our own actions and free ourselves from control at the whim of others, we can take charge of our own lives, living with more direction and intention, rather than in pacific abnegation.
Two groups form in all societies since the beginning of time and will likely be around long after own time here on Earth has expired. We can call the first group the “Proletariat” and the second the “Bourgeoisie”. To explain each of these terms in just a few words: the vast majority consisting of the former follow a chosen few of the latter. Out of any group, we find a select few generally rise as leaders.
We can choose one of two routes. We can join the vast majority of people in the world, who will by default take the easiest path by doing nothing, and thus forming part of the vast masses which make up the Proletariat. Or, we can join those few brave souls who take the more difficult road, eventually breaking free from many of the ties binding them to the wishes of others.
Few, if any, can escape the effects of nature tugging on their strings. Those who try to go against Mother Nature usually lose. For example, fighting against the negative impact of age can be battled in many ways, and these are precisely the source of profits for many of the Bourgeoisie in this day and age. While billions of dollars are spent yearly on trying to stay young, perhaps eating well and exercising remain as the most effective deterrents to aging; yet even with an optimal diet and good health, sooner or later the incessant clock of Father Time will too lead us to our final tick.
Those who escape the reaches of government ties are generally outlaws or indigenous people who live on the outskirts of society. If we want to live life within the parameters of civilization, we must adhere to a certain degree of twisting and turning the wheels of government turn from time to time.
As for the rest of the strings which pull at our heart, soul, and being, in many cases rather than being subject to the tugs of others, we can instead become the puppeteer, deciding for ourselves which strings to pull. While it isn’t easy, and the road is certainly more difficult than doing nothing at all, the benefits to be had can greatly outweigh the cost of what can be lost.
There are many definitions for success. One I like is this:
“Success is being to be able to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, and with those you want to do it with.”
I don’t believe it is realistic or possible to do anything we want all of the time. Yet with some work, we can move toward that ideal state. Likely, early on in life there will be little we can do to escape the constant tugs on our puppet’s strings. Initially, we are subject to the direction of our parents, who move us to and fro, usually with love, but not always so. They carefully give us the tools they believe we will need to live in a better way. They teach us that we should be nice to others, to be industrious, and by all means to eat our vegetables too.
While in school, our teachers and peers, help to form the adult “puppet” we will one day become, with a little luck and a lot of work. We are taught all about history, geography, science, math, and so much more. We are taught about what is supposed to be “good” and what is supposed to be “bad”, finding some things make us happy in life and others sad.
As we start into adulthood, we almost always have to work for someone else, whether it be a company or an individual. Some become employees, others apprentices; but in some way or another, we need to figure out what to do in life and how to do it. Very few are able to live in the lap of luxury their entire lives doing absolutely nothing from the start, though certainly some do.
Here is where things become interesting. Those who continue to react to the strings pulled by others (the path of least resistance), tend to continue to do so for the rest of their lives, never breaking free of the chains that bind them. Yet those who choose to stand out, speak up, and do something to better their lot have a much better shot at rising to the top and becoming part of the elite Bourgeoisie.
Like the cream that floats to the top of milk, a few select individuals will do the same in society. In most societies around the world we can choose to be part of the few who are their own puppeteers rather than being one of those whose strings are constantly yanked and pulled forever and a day.
How can we be masters of our destinies rather than followers to our ultimate fate?
It’s simple, though far from easy. One of the first things we must do is to be willing to take more risk than others. I’m not talking about doing crazy, stupid things: but rather carefully considering possibilities and taking a risk when the reward can greatly outweigh he cost. By using our minds instead of our hands to create the kind of life we really want to live, though doing this by necessity may also use our hands, depending on what we choose to do.
Do you really want the strings of your puppet to be constantly tugged and pulled in so many different directions or would you like to be the one doing the tugging and pulling? What then can you do to be your own puppeteer?
Choose the road less traveled when you come to a fork in the road rather than the easier route.
Choose to go left in life every once in a while, rather than always going right just because the rest are doing so.
Choose to do what others are unwilling to do when it comes to difficult decisions.
Choose to be the master of your destiny rather than a tool for others.
Speaking up and taking more risk will not necessarily free us from the strings which make us twist and turn from time to time at the will of others, but doing so will likely increase the possibility we can rise to the top, and form part of the elite Bourgeoisie, where like it or not, the air is a little fresher, the lines are a little shorter, and life is a little larger.
Recently I saw the following quote, the source of which is unknown to me:
“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.”
This got me to thinking about our relationship with the world around us, and how similar we are to a ship. Some boats are small and light, others they are large and heavy. Some are simple and functional, others more complicated and ostentatious. Each is built at some point in time either close to a source of water, be it a river, lake, or ocean; while others begin their life with little or no access to the vital liquid which allows them to function.
The great majority of these vessels (though not all) make it to the water, but what happens from there is unique to each. Similarly, each of us is born someplace. From there, we make our way into the world. Some boats stay close to port, others are dragged inland and parked in someone’s garage or backyard. Yet each has the potential to sail the ocean blue.
We too have the same opportunity to stay close to home, or to venture out in the world in an attempt to reach our full potential. Along the way, there are many different elements affecting our journey. The weather, traffic, and accessibility can help or hinder a ship in its quest to reach the water. Other people, emotions, and world events also have a direct impact on our ability to travel.
Once we get to the water, the ship is equipped for the voyage. A compass, a map, and a life preservers are among the items provided to assure everyone gets to where they wants to go. We are equipped with education, knowledge, and time to do whatever it is we want to do in life. Sometimes the equipment is sufficient, other times it is lacking.
There comes a time, when we need help from an outside source. We can only be on the water so long without having some kind of contact, be it another boat, or land. We often believe we can be independent, and while we can learn to be comfortable with ourselves, at the same time, we need others.
What has to be done if the boat is taking on water?
It must be fixed! The water must be bailed out and the source must be detected and repaired, there is no other alternative. If the boat continues to take on water, it will sink. The same happens with us. The emotional baggage we take upon ourselves can be real or imagined. Regardless, it can weigh us down to the point of sinking us.
How much are you carrying around with you which adds nothing to your voyage and instead pulls you down?
Typically, we drag around much more with us than we really need. Wouldn’t it make more sense if we traveled lightly? How about if instead of accumulating so much stuff, we instead focus on what we really need and enjoy life more?
In this day and age, people tend to love money and use people. Instead, why don’t we strive to love people and use things? By doing this we can travel more lightly, smoothly, and safely to whichever port set our sights on.
From our ranks, we have fallen soldiers. Some have gone without me even being aware, until sometime later, when in conversation, we hear about their absence.
“Did you hear about Chris?” I remember being asked, after the first from our class fell. I shook my head, not knowing what had happened.
“Oh, he’s no longer here!” came the answer straight and clear.
We all seem to want to know the circumstances, yet may fear the response; the why and the what for. Yet in the end, only one thing stands out, only one thing matters. They are no longer here to fight another day.
The game of life is much like a battle. From our first breath, we need to struggle to make sure the energy of life fills our lungs. From that point on life beats magically within us, as it does for all living things. In order to keep going, battles we must overcome.
Our first major challenge comes as we strive to live life outside of our mother’s womb. For any one of a number of reasons, this often doesn’t happen. Infant mortality depends in large part on where a woman lives when she has her baby. Many places around the world can’t handle complications routinely managed where more advanced medical care is available.
As we grow up, so too there are dangers. Yet we have all seen how babies bounce back. They are surprisingly resilient! They can take a licking and keep on ticking. In fact, until we teach them to cry, when they fall they often do not, unless of course it really hurts. Perhaps one of our biggest dangers as we grow is how to deal with rejection. Many cannot and do not, choosing instead to take their lives as a way out of their misery.
And so we go through life, her topsy turvy ways a part of the grand scheme of things. While some of us go sooner and others later, there is only one thing for certain, when it’s all said and done, even the last one standing will too succumb to life’s final stratagem, taking us from this reality we now know, to something which as yet remains unknown.
As for our class, around 80 of us that graduated in 1980, from the Albuquerque Academy. Of that group, the four who have fallen represent about 5% of our total number. Though small in percentage, these four people represent so much more to me. On the one hand, but for the grace of God, there go I; and on the other, each lives on in my soul in many different ways.
Of the four, perhaps the one I knew the least was Chris Mullins. What I did know about him, I liked quite a lot. He liked to party and he liked to have fun. When he left us, I was reminded that our time too here on Earth is limited, and no one lives forever.
Tim Anderson was the one of the four I knew the best. He and I were bosom buddies in high school. Our schedules were similar, and we had many of the same interests. We would walk over to the gym during football and baseball season to practice, and competed with each other against others on many playing fields. During the weekends, we normally went to the same parties and hung out in the same places. When we played baseball, he pitched and I caught. When we played football, he ran and I blocked. When we went out on double dates, however, each of us was on our own.
Then there was Mark Skotchdopole. He was in a separate reality and he continues to be one of the nicest people I have ever met. In my heart, he is one of my greatest heroes. During high school, we didn’t share the same sports or activities, but when we did hook up, we always had a good time. With Mark, I got to know him better later, when he was already sick, and getting sicker. I had the opportunity to talk with him and visit with him on several occasions before he died in 2012. His outlook on life and positive attitude, even in the face of death, stay with me to this day. While I’m sure he probably had some bad days, and likely too got down, I never saw it.
And now to their ranks, the first female from our group goes. What I can I say about CJ Gulley (Coffin)? While I’m sure each has their own opinion, this is my take. Many of the girls were surely intimidated by her beauty. Blond hair, blue eyes and a nice slim body were, no doubt, the envy of more than one. That she got the boys’ attention, probably pissed them off as well. Yet behind the façade, which everyone could see, was a woman who strove to be integral in thought, mind, and body. Eating right and exercising were a part of her daily routine, as was fighting for justice in her own way, working in social services and seeing how the monster works from the inside out.
This message cannot be complete without also mentioning Grant Bauer. Though he wasn’t in our class (though far outclassed many of us), he too was an integral part of experience. His memory also lives on in those of us fortunate enough to have known him.
40 years after we graduated, and almost exactly 15 years after many of us saw each other, we continue forward with the great majority still alive, and a good many of that number still kicking. It is eerie to think that 15 years ago to the day I was sitting down having a beer with the three classmates who have fallen since that time. Yet here I stand, along with the rest. We continue daily, still in the game, doing our best to make the right moves.
Surely, more and more of us will drop as time goes by, it’s inevitable. I say this not as an ominous omen, rather as a reality of life. While Chris, Tim, Mark, CJ, and Grant are no longer with us in body, they can continue to live on the hearts of those of us who knew them. Perhaps this is what a soul and eternity are all about… Regardless, they can each serve as a beacon of light to remind all of us:
Be life long or short, we should be grateful for each and every moment here on Earth.
∞ Rob McBride ∞
27 Sep 2020
LL V 5
Tim chose to write me a note on Mr. Marburger’s photo, who too has passed.
Some called him daddy, others husband, uncle, boss, co-worker, friend, godfather, or buddy.
For me, he was my Buddy Billy…
He was one of the first to greet me upon my arrival to Caracas He was the one who was always there when I needed him He was one of the few people who kept his word He was one to always want to be on time
Now that my Buddy Billy is no longer in the same physical space as we are, it seems somehow he hasn’t actually left us, the fortunate who remain.
Fortunate to have known a person who, while not perfect, was a role model worthy of following in our own journey. For those of us who knew him, we would marvel with his wit to identify and express what was going on in a few words.
So many beautiful times with him and his family bring a smile to my face. Trips to the beach, to the mountains, and much more. Happy moments like birthdays, graduations, weddings, and too difficult times like death and other complications. My Buddy Billy was always there with just the right thing to say with a devilish look in his eye or an overall demeanor of complicity.
When he walked along the street, he greeted people kindly, respecting each regardless of his station in life. He talked to those of high rank and also to those of the lowest. If he had something to say, he would say it, and then let the other interpret the meaning as they pleased.
My Buddy Billy worked hard and earned the respect of those with whom he interacted, as much with his bosses as with those he was responsible for, which were at times many. He maintained order in chaos directing his team of workers much as the notable Dudamel directs a great orchestra.
My Buddy Billy looked nice and was very careful with his appearance, though he also know how to let his hair down when the situation was right to rest and relax, going from being formal to comfortable with ease. He felt at home just about anywhere.
He was astute and did business negotiations easily. While surely some didn’t go as he expected, usually it seems as if they did. Nevertheless, the constant weight of making ends meet in a situation which was constantly deteriorating was perhaps the beginning of his end.
I remember sharing many things with my Buddy Billy, among them:
Going by boat to the Keys in Morrocoy Traveling through the Pampas of Argentina Skiing through the Rocky Mountains of Colorado Sitting at home watching just about any kind of sporting event Going up to the Avila for a pork sandwich or perhaps heading to the other side Being lost in the city and calling him, so he could help me find my way Resolving problems with him, because it was his specialty Playing tennis almost every Sunday in the park Being together during important times Passing time just about anywhere
While there are many ways to remember someone when they leave this reality we know to another yet unknown, I choose to remember my Buddy Billy’s wonderful qualities that made him so special to so many of us.
We cannot give what we do not have We cannot be what we are not What we have inside Will come out Like it or not
We may act like another And get away with it for awhile But what we do speaks so loudly People will not hear what we say
A glass can only spill its contents All it has lies within its borders When we are angered by another Our contents will become self-evident
We cannot give what we do not have We cannot have what we do not live We cannot live what we cannot conceive We cannot conceive what we do not believe
Believe in yourself / be congruent in thought and action It’s really much easier than you imagine Put joy and happiness inside Hang on and enjoy the ride
While some things merit striving for perfection, others don’t warrant such aggravation. Mathematics, science, and engineering tend to be areas benefiting from getting as close to perfection as possible.
This ring which my good friend Mark Skotchdopole gave me is “Borderline to Perfect”
Nevertheless, stressing too much to try and achieve “perfection” can be counter-productive. Perfectionism can become a controlling obsession. Let’s look at several everyday areas where “borderline to perfect” may actually be preferable.
Cleaning: Have you ever noticed how housework seems to be never-ending? Dust, dirty clothes, and “stuff” in general seems to reproduce exponentially. Does it really make sense to make sure everything in our home is immaculate before continuing with our day? If we were to do so, we might not achieve anything else, not only for a particular day, but perhaps for weeks, or even months, depending on our previous diligence with regards to cleanliness.
Rather than striving to have everything perfect, we can make our bed, clean areas which are most visible, and clean the dishes. It’s amazing how a few critical tasks can make our environment look nice, even when it’s not spotless. A time will come when a deep cleaning will likely be necessary, but from day to day we can do simple maintenance to keep our home clear of clutter, even if there happens to be some dirt in the corners. Then we can get out into the world and live life, or just take a nice long nap, instead of striving to eliminate every speck of dust and dirt from our surroundings.
Sales: Make no doubt about it, selling is an art and to perfect it, can take a lifetime. I have seen certain people who spend so much time perfecting their sales pitch that they never actually get out to talk to potential customers. It’s important and necessary to know our product, it’s benefits, and how we can best serve our clients; but in my experience the salesperson who talks to more people in a day, even with an “imperfect” approach, normally sells circles around the one who stays in the office because they don’t have their sales pitch quite “perfect.”
Personal Relationships: We are emotional beings inside imperfect bodies. While the human body is pretty amazing, we are constantly reminded it is not perfect when we get sick, don’t feel well, or are otherwise hampered by our emotions. Rather than trying to please all of the people all of the time; we can give our greatest effort gratifying those who are most important to us.
We can be kind and courteous to the rest, but is it really worth the extra time and effort to strive to make everyone happy with what we do? Even when do our best to please those we love, we are likely to come up short from time to time. This doesn’t make us “bad” people, it simply confirms our human condition.
Learning to let go of perfectionism can positively impact our lives, as well as that of those around us. When we realize the universality of the concept of yin and yang —where there is a little bit of bad in all that is good and a little good in all that is bad—, we can embrace the fact that being borderline to perfect is often as good as it gets, and indeed a great place to be, regardless of where we happen to be.
While their are many different ways we can analyze life, there seem to be three phases which mark it. I break them down like this:
We Prepare
We Produce
We Enjoy
The transition from one to another is seldom a hard line, though sometimes it is. When we graduate from high school, college, or trade school, we often leave our Preparation phase in the past.
Thus begins the second Productive phase of our life, where we do whatever it is we are going to do, though granted sometimes we prepare for one thing and end up doing another. Some are doctors, others are dancers; some practice law, others are engineers; an even larger quantity are laborers of different types, some with a steady salary, others who live hand to mouth; some are street sweepers, and someone needs to pick up the trash; some need to govern, and others to keep the peace. We all do something in life.
Sometime during or after the second phase, often without realizing it, comes the third phase to Enjoy what we have done in the other two. This does not necessarily have to be retirement. It could be simply looking at work in a different light. When we start enjoying what we do more than the money it provides, we shift into the third phase of our lives. Many call these the Golden Years, because they should be filled with wealth, both financially and emotionally.
If we continue to think about these phases, we find the following:
Ironically as youngsters we often want to get out of the Preparation phase and into the world as soon as possible, though in retrospect these first years of our lives are often among our most carefree and fancy free since we usually have few responsibilities. Maybe we shouldn’t be so anxious to get our children “growed and out of the house,” opting instead to make sure they have the tools they will need to defend themselves well in the world. Maybe it would be best to assure they choose something to do in life that they like, while also giving them the possibility to provide for their needs.
Obviously, many do exactly this, and this is terrific because after all, our well-being may very well depend on our children, though this isn’t always the case. Let’s do our best to make sure they are well prepared for life before moving on the the Productive phase.
In this second phase, it seems many simply go through the motions in order to get to the third stage. In many places around the world, this means working from the time we are out of school until we are 60 or 70, so that we can retire on a hope and a prayer that we might get a pension check. In other parts of the world people retire earlier, but their challenges tend to be similar.
Why wait so long to shift into this last phase where we Enjoy what we did in the others?
When we love what we do and are passionate about it, we can move into the third phase soon after having entered the second!
Sure, it is much easier to enter into this last phase if we are debt-free and have few obligations, but it isn’t absolutely necessary. When we can get up in the morning and do pretty much what we want, whether it being going out into the world to work, or staying home, then we are well on our way to accelerate the process.
It’s not necessary to work 40 or 50 years in a dead-end job we hate, just in order to retire after so much time and hopefully have “few good years.” Instead, we can look to engage ourselves in an activity which we would do even if we weren’t paid for it, and then find somebody who will pay us well to do it.
The third phase to Enjoy what we have done is not about retiring, sitting on our ass, and watching TV or swaying in a hammock all day; rather in getting up each day and doing the best we can in the phase we are in to make each day a great day, without basing this on our chronological age. After all, age is simply a number, not an emotional state.
There is only one truth, and anything varying from it, is simply somebody’s particular interpretation of it. As such, truth is absolute, but our perception often makes it relative.
That is why two people can bear witness to the same event and give different testimony as to what happened. To avoid subjective factors determining the truth in a trial, cameras are now frequently used since with them we can determine in an instant the veracity of the testimony, find out “who dunnit,” and put them behind bars.
Nevertheless, “twisting the truth” is done for many reasons, though mostly for convenience rather than for matters of life or death. We alter, change, or twist the truth to impress someone, perhaps to cover an error, or maybe because we are in dire straits and telling the truth means things will only get worse.
Nevertheless, the truth holds firm, it is unbending.
Being this the case, let’s consider how we are able to manage the truth, as it relates to others, as well as ourselves.
Perhaps even more important than the “truths” others tell us about themselves, are those we tell ourselves.
How is our daily conversation with ourselves?
Are we being honest and speaking the truth when we see ourselves in the mirror and evaluate our path in life?
Are we really doing the best we can do in school, work, and our relationships?
When we look in the mirror, what are the hard truths we tell ourselves about what we can do better, and what are the lies we tell to soothe our soul?
We all have weaknesses, errors with no expiration date, and blind spots which can cloud everything. Let’s give ourselves the opportunity to believe more in ourselves, telling the truth about the weaknesses we can work on, as well as the strengths we can empower.
When someone tells us they did something, we can take it at face value, realizing it may or not be true. More important than what others tell us about themselves is what we tell ourselves when we take stock of our progress, making sure we give an accurate account of the truth and not a twisted interpretation of it.
Of the billions of people who roam around the Earth, never has there been anybody who is exactly like you. Nobody walks, talks or acts just the way you do. The thoughts you have, and what you do with them, are marvelously unique to you.
And you know what the best part is?
You are truly incredible, just the way you are!
Even with your errors and all of your faults, you’ve got quite a lot going for you. Sometimes you fall, sometimes you fail, but despite it all, you are still here to talk about it, and that’s quite an achievement. Others have not been so fortunate and many have quit along the way, while you’ve kept plugging.
From the very start, you were the fastest. You may not have had the best start, and you may have even started way back in the pack, but your sperm made its way past the rest. When the others tuckered out, tired from the journey, you kept on chugging, giving it your all. Then after reaching your goal, you made that egg yours, fertilizing it and beginning the magical process of your conception.
Then, after you were born, you began to look about you, taking in all the sights, sounds, and things you could possibly touch. You began to form your very own perception of the world and your surroundings. You listened to what people said and together with your experiences now have your own opinion about what is right and wrong.
When you went to school, maybe you were unsure of yourself or perhaps even scared, but you got through. Little by little you began to learn the ropes, form your friendships and develop your interests. Likely there were difficulties with some of the other kids, and at times the pressure of learning so much information might have seemed to be too much. Yet the sun came up the next day, you shook off the cobwebs and continued on your way.
One stage after another and many experiences later, here you are today. You may be happy or you may be sad, but regardless of your emotional state, you are incredible. The mere fact you can now read these words means you’ve made it through quite a lot of difficulty just to be here with me now. Think about it. Your heart has continued to beat and your lungs have continued to breathe throughout it all. Your body has continued to work since you were born, despite the abuse you give it, and that’s quite an accomplishment.
There is only one you in this world and that’s pretty amazing. While others go about their daily deeds, so do you. Your path may not have always been the best one, and there may be somethings you would do different, but despite it all, you continue to be here to tell your history.
Emotions can sidetrack us from time to time from what is really important in life and above all from how we value ourselves. Regardless of how you feel in this instant, I can guarantee you one thing…
One certainty in life is that there will be uncertainty.
When we are growing up, we are unsure how we might fit into society. When we are going to school, we are uncertain whether we will be able to graduate. When we are working, we are often unsure how long we will have a job. When we are married, we can wonder if we chose the right person. In Venezuela, where I live, we often wonder whether we will have electricity and water from one moment to the next. In short, uncertainty is our constant companion.
With uncertainty generally one of two things can happen. It can freeze us into inaction, or drive us into action. While circumstances are different, as are their degree of uncertainty, one thing is common in all:
We can overcome uncertainty with action.
Regardless of the situation, or degree of doubt, we can mobilize our inner creativity to determine what kind of action we can take. For example:
If we are unsure of ourselves, we can take measures to gain confidence, by enrolling in martial arts, self-improvement programs, and/or by realizing we are as amazing as any other individual on earth, until we are confident in our abilities.
If we are unsure whether or not we will be able to graduate from school, we can pay better attention in class, develop a sincere interest in what we are studying, and prepare sufficiently for exams. When we do our probabilities of passing and graduating become much greater.
If we are unsure about our job situation, we can strive to learn as much as we can about what we do. That way if there is some problem with our current company, we can transition more easily into a new position, or perhaps start our own venture.
If we are uncertain whether we have married the right person, we can talk to that person, expressing our true feelings and seeking to understand theirs. Not everybody is meant to be with someone “till death do them part.” In some cases it is possible to resolve our issues, in others, the best decision is to make a drastic change.
With uncertainties beyond our control, such as the case with electricity and water service, dealing with them isn’t always so easy since in some cases it can be a matter of life and death. Nevertheless, when basic services fail, leaving us dry and dark; we can focus on those things we can do while services are limited, rather than lamenting those things we cannot do.
Uncertainty can sap our energy and weaken our will. Instead of falling into its vicious trap, which leads us no where, we can ask ourselves one simple question:
What can I do to better understand this doubt?
When we are proactive, taking action to know more about what bothers us, we can gain a wider perspective and better results, than if we simply wait around for something to happen without doing anything. Treat yourself to a few minutes, or perhaps even several hours to contemplate your next move whenever you are next faced with uncertainty. Then with calm, cool, collected confidence, take action to dominate it.
How many times do we find ourselves explaining and justifying ourselves to others?
Perhaps it is simply a social norm, and it is important for us to take responsibility for actions, but before whom and when should we justify ourselves?
If we find ourselves explaining our decisions and justifying our actions to others, there’s a good chance that we are the ones who believe something is wrong.
Have you given your best effort so far?
If this is the case, then congratulations! That means you have done all in your power so far, to do what you want to do. If not, then don’t beat yourself up, because the good news is that today is a new day, and ripe to begin to do so.
The truth is that we are all going to make mistakes from time to time. So far no one has been born who is “perfect” in every sense; though if we really think about it, maybe we are all perfect, just as we are. Taking this into account, we can analyze our actions, enjoying both our successes and our defeats; since one brings satisfaction and the other learning.
Instead of explaining and continually justifying our actions to others, we can learn from all that happens on our journey, loving and accepting ourselves, as we are, with all our defects, which can be corrected if we wish; not to please others, but rather for our own good.
Time proves that the best relationships develop where the love for one another is so great, each accepts the other as they are. This link keeps it strong when inevitable tests challenge its integrity.
What about accepting others with their defects, particularities, and bad habits?
Wouldn’t it be marvelous if the others accepted us this way?
We have become a society where to be accepted we believe we must behave in a certain way, by a established code. The norms are drilled into us since we are small. We are told to: “Stand up straight, say hello to others, and behave.”
The reality is that not everyone stands up straight, there are times when we don’t want to say hello to others, and being bad can strangely enough sometimes feel good. Let’s be faithful to ourselves, according to our principles and what we believe to be true, open to the idea that we don’t have all the answers and that sometimes we are likely to be wrong, and that’s okay.
It won’t always be possible to please others, but being in harmony with ourselves is the best way to be right with the world. When we believe we are doing the right thing, we avoid the wear and tear of feeling the need to justify ourselves before others. This ultimately transforms into inner peace, creating harmony with others, which allows to simply flow as life goes.
Are you willing to pay the price to get what you want?
At first glance, it seems like a simple question, and initially most of us would likely say, “Yes, I am willing to pay the price!” But as we look a little deeper, we find that we are not always quite so willing to pay the price necessary to get something, particularly if it seems too expensive.
Let’s look at an straightforward example: We go to the supermarket for bread, milk, eggs, and butter. When we get to the cash register, we are told how much we must pay for the purchase. Depending on our financial situation, and our hunger, we decide whether to pay the price or not. If we choose not to buy anything, we leave the store satisfied we will not pay such high prices, but without the food we need to satiate our hunger. If, on the other hand, we have sufficient cash flow and the prices seem reasonable, we leave with everything we we want. As another option, we may decide to buy only a one or two items to take care of our present hunger with the resources we have available.
Life is very similar. Getting what we want can be rather simple, nevertheless, a price must be paid and this can complicate matters. To be a superstar, it’s often necessary to make sacrifices. Some may even argue that it’s not possible to get famous without stepping on a few toes along the way, and not everyone is willing to do so. If you must choose between an important presentation allowing you to climb the ladder of professional success and an activity in your child’s school, some will choose the first option and others the second. Both options are valid, our answer depends on the price we are willing to pay.
The price we have to pay for an education is time, money, and effort; but the investment tends to pay great dividends later. Paying attention to our children, taking care of their necessities, and teaching them to be productive members of society is a job that has no monetary pay, but can bring great satisfaction with positive results. Obtaining a better home, or a new car, requires discipline, savings, and perseverance; but living in a nice place and driving a new car, also has its benefits.
Many times the cost we must pay is emotional. Choosing one road, we leave many more untraveled. Deciding to get married to someone, excludes the rest. Choosing one job, we leave aside many other possibilities. Spending our money on one thing, we can’t buy another.
The ultimate price that can be paid is the one we pay with our lives. Some people in Venezuela, where I have lived for many years, have paid this great price recently in search of liberty. We will see in the coming weeks, months, and years, whether it brings fruit or if it was in vain.
There isn’t a magic answer in terms of what price is right for us to pay to achieve our dreams. Some people are willing to give their lives in the pursuit of their objectives; while others have difficulty getting off the couch to change the channel on the television, if the remote isn’t working.
Establishing a balance between what we want and what we are willing to pay is like walking a tightrope. A mistake to either side can mean sudden death. Instead of letting life’s haphazard course determine our future, we can determine the route we want to take and the price we are willing to pay. Then with the rudder of life firmly in hand, we can pay a fair price, without hesitation, to get to where we most desire.
Words are expressed in many different ways. Some soothe like a warm summer breeze, others cut like a knife without mercy. Some are like the wind which comes and goes, others stay etched in our minds forever. Some build us up and others tear us down.
What are the words you repeat mentally every day?
Do they encourage you to try harder and carry on, or to throw in the towel and give up?
It’s ironic but the word we hear most as a child (and many times as an adult) is the word “no.” It’s almost impossible to find a parent anywhere in the world who doesn’t use it with some frequency to reprimand their children. Nevertheless, think about it for a moment. What is the message we give to a child when we repeatedly tell him or her that they can’t do something? Are we are conditioning them create obstacles in their path or encouraging them to overcome difficulty to reach their full potential?
Following, a couple of ideas regarding the use of words:
Choose your words carefully when speaking and writing, but perhaps even more so when you are thinking. While we have all seen the damage spoken and written words can cause, not so obvious is why to be cautious with the words we use in our “internal conversations.” From the time we wake up in the morning, the person we generally speak with the most is ourself. Since this is the case, use words that empower you to open the doors of opportunity, rather than those that castrate your every ability. The words we use create the people we will become.
Learn to listen to others. The words others use when they talk are based on their interpretation of the world. They are neither more or less valid than ours, they are simply an expression of their reality. As such, it isn’t necessary to try to convince others we are right, because in their minds they already are. By paying attention and listening carefully to the words others use, we can better understand what motivates them, and besides, paying attention to others is one of the most valuable gifts we can give them.
Words form an important part of existence and they are with us wherever we go. With them we can build fantastic castles where there was previously nothing, or we can cause the same to come tumbling down. The language we use daily creates the reality we live eventually. Use words wisely to leave love and prosperity in your wake.
Have you wondered why some people are able to overcome difficulty more easily than others?
Like a palm tree shaken by a storm that bends but does not break, we too can learn how to do to the same. Following are some suggestions to help you handle adversity and grow in the process:
Remember that nothing is forever. The same way the year has seasons and these come and go, so too occurs with the storms of life; they have a beginning and an end. Like when a wonderful sunny day suddenly becomes completely overcast, the same thing can happen to us. You can go from feeling like you are on top of the world looking down, and in an instant, as the result of a word, a look, or a silence suddenly feel like you are groveling on the ground. This is when it is wise to remember the Chinese proverb: “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”
Ask yourself, “What is right about this situation?” Regardless of the challenge, do this exercise. No matter how bad the news, and while it may seem impossible, find out what is good about the situation. We consider some things to be “bad”, but in the end they could be the source of something good. Imagine that your spouse tells you, “I’m fed up! I want to leave and live my life with someone else.” While this appears to be tough at first and perhaps you would prefer to never have to go through it, this news can open an opportunity to meet other people who very well could be much more compatible with you.
Think about those who have gone through something similar. Another way to bend without breaking in the process is to think of those who have faced the same situation, or even worse, than what we face right now. Do you think you are the only one with problems? Do you think you are the only one in the world who has lost a loved one or made a mistake on something important? Well, I’ve got news for you, you are not! Right now, there are almost eight billion people in the world and I can assure you that among them many have gone through equal or worse circumstances. Most interesting is that these difficulties have been overcome in some way, shape, or form by many of them.
Realize death as inevitable. Though I know it’s not nice to talk about this, regardless of our age, economic or social status, losing someone close to us is difficult. There isn’t any way to paint as something positive about it. Nevertheless, it is completely natural and happens with some frequency. The idea isn’t to be morbid, or negative about death, but rather realistic. In your experience, what generally happens in the world after someone dies? In mine, life goes on, and certainly when our time comes to “pass on over to the other side,” the same will happen.
It’s not easy to bend without breaking, but it’s not impossible. I know of no magic wand which will eliminate all of the problems you might have, but it is possible to diminish the magnitude of the effect adversity has on you. When you but your difficulties into perspective, generally you see that it is not the end of the word, rather a lesson to be learned and this can enable you to bend without breaking.
The number of “things” we can acquire with money is tremendous and even if we were to buy something everyday, we would probably need several lifetimes to buy everything available. There are toys for small children, and others for those who are bigger. There seems to always be a car that goes faster, and a house that is bigger and better. There are clothes that can make us look like a rock star or the models who flaunt them. There are electronic appliances and bicycles. There are row boats, speed boats, sail boats, and yachts of every shape and size. And for those who like to collect “things”, there is always something new to add to their collection.
As for me, I think its fabulous we have such a wide variety of “things” we can buy, but I ask myself:
Does there come a time when enough is enough?
If you don’t have the money for a new iPhone, or to take a trip to the other side of the planet, what will you do for fun?
I propose that while money can buy us a lot of “things” that bring pleasure, it is also possible to enjoy each day without them, though this is nothing new. In fact, the simplest pleasures have been around since the beginning of time.
How about taking a walk?
It could be in the city, or on a mountain, or at the beach, do what’s easy and available, don’t put any limits. Open your eyes to the world around you and begin to enjoy all you see on the way:
In the city you see people going here, there, and everywhere. You can imagine what their lives might be like, where they work, and whether or not they have a family. Put yourself in their shoes for awhile and imagine, what is it like to be them? What are their heartbreaks and their joys? What motivates them to get up every day?If you are in the mountains, life abounds, though often it is hidden, just past where we normally see, almost out of sight, if we aren’t paying attention. Besides the trees, plants, flowers, and animals —which also give us a cause to stop and observe— there are also insects, dirt, rocks, rivers, and lakes teeming with life. In a puddle we can see a miniature world which begins and ends right there, in that little bit of water.
And if you choose the beach, you can look out over the immensity of the oceans and seas, watching how they disappear into the horizon. You can consider the great variety of life which lies beneath. Some plants, fish, and other animals are readily seen, others are found only at great depths.
What about singing and dancing?
While you may not have the best singing voice, and you may not dance like Fred Astaire, who cares? Singing in the shower, where you can act like a rock star is incredible. If someone else doesn’t like it, they can cover their ears or take a hike, but as for me, if you feel the need, then let it all hang out.
Have you ever been someplace and suddenly one of your favorite songs came on over the radio?
Why wait? Free yourself from what others might think and let your body begin to slowly sway with the music. You can even close your eyes and feel how the music fills your soul in a deep, special way, but dance when you feel the rhythm touch you in that very special way.
These are just a few of the simple pleasures thatabound when we are willing to open our minds and our hearts to everything around us.
There are times when we flow with everything, as a river takes its course; and others when we get stuck on any little thing. Life brings with it different moments, ups and downs. Being able to experience each one of them means we are alive, and if not, their absence guarantees us a one-way ticket to our ultimate destiny. We will have moments when we want time to stretch into eternity, right there where we are; and then there will be others when the only thing we want to do is to get out of there as fast as possible. What is certain is that despite our decision, we must keep moving.
The world and the universe are in constant evolution. In a similar way, we as human beings are also always changing. Our body renews itself frequently; our hair skin, and organs are in a constant process of renovation. Even our cells vibrate with the energy of movement.
It’s tempting to consider taking a break, doing absolutely nothing, but comes a time when the mind begins to want something. What is certain is that we need to keep moving to stay alive. The person who stays at home, not even leaving to buy groceries, will soon die of hunger. The business owner who doesn’t seek new clients can go belly up, despite having the best solutions in his market. Love too dies if it is not renewed continually, with words and actions to express it.
When those times come when all we want to do is cover our head and stay sleeping for a good long while, it’s fine to do so from time to time, for a few hours, or perhaps in an extreme case for a full day, but then comes the time for us to get up and get moving.
The world doesn’t stand still and neither should we. If you are in a place you like to be right now, then do all you can to stay there; if not, do all you can do get there. In either case, both require energy and movement. In the same way the sun comes up on the horizon each morning and goes down on the other side every evening, we too have cycles of movement with which to comply.
Living well doesn’t mean we need to be constantly trying to get from here to there, nor does it depend on acquiring anything specific, but rather of being conscious that we must keep moving in our daily routine —like the earth on its constant journey—, and this will fill us with energy and happiness. Keeping moving keeps us safe and sound.
While there are many ways to feel good and to experience pleasure, perhaps is none more important to live a happy life than to having a well-defined direction and purpose. Without one, it’s almost impossible to rise and rally when we are in the bottom of a bounce. With one, nothing can stop us from getting up after falling down.
We can repeat magical phrases and watch inspirational speakers in order to help us to maintain a good attitude toward life, but without a specific direction worthy of our effort, any positive effect is likely to be fleeting. When our life has purpose and we know where we are going, it is unlikely for anything to permanently impede its achievement.
Most important isn’t only having a goal, but knowing why it is we want to get there. If our objectives are imposed by someone else, a company, or even society, when the going gets tough we will probably fold before challenge, immobilized, asking ourselves what happened and why we don’t advance.
When this happens we can make sure our purpose isn’t being determined by some external force. It’s not made up only of what our parents want, or what our teachers teach, but rather something that comes from inside, like a “calling” which at times isn’t easy to explain, but which we are ready and willing to do.
“Changing the world” or “being a better person” are overused maxims, which tend to be vague and lacking in substance. To these, and other missions like them, we can give specificity to convert them into powerful concepts allowing us to focus on what we have to do in order to develop our purpose.
We could say, “I am going to change the world with the product or service I offer because it gives great value, allowing my clients to better their lives,” or, “I will be a better person not only with what I say, but with what I do daily.” Our purpose doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary, but it should be something we can understand and define.
Some go their whole lives without ever thinking about their purpose, resulting in a dull, dreary existence which seems like it will never end. Others find their purpose in life when they are young and invest their time to make it happen. For the great many, it comes somewhere in the middle. Perhaps as the result of a hard knock on the head, or as a revelation one day when while taking a shower, or walking in the park.
Each of us can have different purpose in life; since each of us has within, a universe of possibility. Knowing we have a purpose can direct us so we are more aware of finding and implementing, instead of having to settle living without it.
We can look at life as if it were a series of hourglasses. The only difference is that instead of having the tops sealed, they are open to allow adding more sand. When the grains pass from the top to the bottom, the sand creates small mountains which can be thought of as the history our life in 3-D. While we could look at many different examples, let’s look at three.
The most obvious of these hourglasses is the one of time. It determines how long we will live and when the last grain of sand passes through the opening linking the top to the bottom is when we pass from this reality we know, to another yet unknown. Some say the quantity of sand is predetermined, while others say it is a function of what we do and how we live. Of no doubt is that our time as we are now is limited.
Our physical hourglass depends basically on two elements, the calories we consume and those we burn. If we take in more than we eliminate, we gain weight; otherwise, we lose weight, it’s that simple. If you want to eat a lot (and you have the means to do so), there’s no problem as long as you are willing to exercise a lot to burn it off. If we don’t assimilate enough calories, in no time will we not only lose weight, but also the energy we need to face each day. It’s a delicate balance we must strike to be physically fit.
At the same time, our economic hourglass is filled with the money we make, whether it be as an employee, or through any other source of income we might have. It’s diminished by our daily expenses. If we put in more than we take out, year after year, the hour glass will fill and be available if we need it for entertainment or necessity some day. On the contrary, if we take out more than we put in, our hourglass will constantly be empty and we will need to depend on family, friends, a bank, or a loan shark to survive.
Managing our hourglasses isn’t easy, but when we achieve it we can live more satisfied with our place in the world.
How can we do it?
Realizing life has a beginning and an end isn’t cause for anguish or desperation, rather of joy and reflection. If you are reading this now, it means you are alive. Perhaps yesterday wasn’t so swell and tomorrow may be unsure, but today is a reality. Besides, this moment goes with us wherever we go, so you might as well enjoy it as much as possible.
To optimize the physical hourglass, eat well and do some form of exercise everyday. It isn’t always easy and it takes determination and dedication, especially if we are struggling with one of the hourglasses in our life, but it’s essential we maintain our bodies in optimal condition. We have become lazy. Walk up the stairs every now and again to feel how the effort strengthens your legs and your increases respiratory capacity. Walk around the block in the afternoon, or if there is a river, lake, mountain or beach nearby, go there, but do something to keep moving.
To keep the hourglass of economics healthy, every time you receive money, regardless of the source, take fixed percentage and save it in a separate account. Begin to pay yourself first and live with what’s left over. You will see that economic resources will abound in your economic hourglass, growing little by little and giving you a sound economic base.
As the famous saying in computation goes, “garbage in, garbage out.” The grains of sand you add to your hourglasses of life are what you will later use and give to others. If you take advantage of each moment, are careful with your eating and exercise, save some money from everything you earn, and put in the very best ingredients into each of your hourglasses of life, you will be wiser, healthier, and happier.
If our pets could talk, can you imagine what he would say about us?
Would they say you we are obedient, or perhaps that we still need a little more training?
I think my dogs have me pretty well trained. I give them food twice a day and take them down afterward to the park, so they can do their deed. If they have an accident and go poop where they’re not supposed to, I’m there to clean up after them, without too much of a struggle, though I do usually grumble a word or two. It seems to me my dogs would say I am a pretty obedient and comply with the majority of their demands.
If for some reason I don’t, they remind me, without thinking twice about it, by barking a bit.
We can also imagine another series of commentaries our pets might make. For example:
What would your pet say about your character?
Would he say you are good guy or gal, kind and gentle, or perhaps a bit of a grouch, with a tendency toward hostility?
While perhaps your pets depend on you for survival, I wonder who is more intelligent. While we work to make the money used to buy their food, they are sprawled out in the sun, taking a nice nap. While we are in a never-ending traffic jam on the way home, they casually look to see if there is any sign of us. While we take their food to them, door to door, they wait with their tails wagging, smelling the new food which will be their breakfast and dinner for the next several weeks.
When our pet observes us, would he say we are successful with a tendency towards victory or a failure who feels defeated?
I wonder what advice our pets would give us if they could talk.
How many words of wisdom could come from them, just by being so aware of our each and every move day in and day out?
What goes through the mind of our pets when they see us after a long day?
It’s obvious they get excited and their emotional state changes in an instant. It’s a time of great joy and glory when they can greet and smell us. They jump, bark, and squeal with happiness with our presence.
Would our pets tell us to work more, or to take time in the day for a nap?
Would our pets tell us to stress out more or find a way to be more tranquil and stable?
Pets can measure our mood in an instant. They know by instinct if it’s a good time to get close or move away. A pet knows that when we feel tired and beat up, sometimes the best thing they can do is to just be near us, without doing anything. In the same way, sometimes the best we can do to accompany somebody in need is to simply be there, without saying anything.
An interesting concept to consider regarding our emotional state is one called the “U” of Happiness and its explanation is quite simple. Studies confirm people in their 20’s and 3o’s are generally happier than those in their 40’s and 50’s, and then later in their 60’s and 70’s their level of happiness rises once again.
Obviously these are general tendencies and there are always exceptions, but the reasons are as follows. When people are in their 20’s and 30’s, they are young, full of energy, and ready to conquer the world. In their 40’s and 50’s, many times economic burden, rebellious children and the weight of the world, seem to weigh heavily on their shoulders. Once in their 60’s and 70’s, many are just happy to be alive. They have seen many of their contemporaries die and know at any moment they may be next in line.
One of the reasons given for this phenomenon is the gap between what we desire and where we are. Young people don’t have a great degree of control over where they begin in the world, so wherever they are, they tend to be more willing to change their situation, if necessary, or maintain it, if it is good.
Getting to middle-age many fight to keep their status or enhance it. The problems of their children present different challenges and unexpected expenses seem to lurk around each corner, causing economic pressure. In their 40’s and 50’s, many times people look in the mirror and realize many of their dreams have been left by the wayside. They look at others around them who have more material wealth, and apparently, happiness. If they aren’t in the same place, it can become a great burden.
As people get older, they have less need for material things and are more grateful for the people they have around them and the wonders each day on Earth brings.
What can we do to close the gap between where we want to be and where we are right now, regardless of our age?
It’s good to have goals to achieve our objectives, but it is also important to be thankful for what we have right now. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with invitations to drive better cars, live in more luxurious houses, and use the latest fashions, it is easy to lose ourselves in an ocean of “created necessity.” We can be grateful for everything we have, realizing that wanting more isn’t bad, but being thankless for what we do have is.
Realizing all we have, beginning with those things coming free from the “factory” when were born (which are also free), the air we breathe, the birds that sing in the trees, and the flowers adorning nature; is an excellent way to feel happy right now. Being happy with our present condition is a decision which depends on us and no one else. As the saying goes, “The richest is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.”
Why is it so difficult to take responsibility for what we do wrong, but easy for what we do well?
At least part of the answer can be found in this quote from Bob Marley:
“The problem is people are being hated when they are real, and are being loved when they are fake.”
Maybe this is the reason why a child hides his hand when caught writing on the walls, and also why an employee denies having done something wrong when there is no other possibility.
We are hesitant to take responsibility for things which might prejudice us. Since we are small we are accustomed to being rewarded when we do something “good” and reprimanded when we do something “bad.” Instead of being conditioned to being praised only for results, it would be better to positively reinforce telling the truth.
Can there be anyone in the world who has not done wrong at some point in time? Of course not! Instead of showing our children to never make mistakes, wouldn’t it be better to have them understand that being responsible for their actions can lead them to learn and improve?
Is it possible for a baby to learn without falling?
Can an employee possibly know what to do before he is trained?
We create almost impossible expectations when we don’t accept errors from others. In fact, in many cases it is from our errors that we learn our most important lessons. It would be ideal to learn from the failures of others, but it’s not always possible.
Society tends to reward results more than the process. Taking responsibility for our actions isn’t always convenient in the moment, but it is a matter of honor, and in time we can become better by doing so. While it can hit us like a bucket of cold water, our environment is a reflection of our society.
If we as individuals don’t take responsibility for what we do, how can we expect others to do so? If we want to modify something, we must first modify ourselves. Taking responsibility for our actions is a good start.
It’s common to spend much of life accumulating material things and emotional experiences. It’s normal and a result of human nature, as well as marketing campaigns. The dream of many is to have their own home in a nice place, a new car, comfortable well styled furniture, designer clothes, and of course, the latest technology to manage it all.
We to out daily into to the world sharing our talents to acquire what we see on television, in popular magazines and the billboards that shout with their offers:
“This is the life you deserve!”
To sum it up, we go after what we are offered in so many places. Additionally, we want to be accepted socially by everyone. We should be good children, students, parents, and colleagues. We act in accordance with established norms for “living right.” We say, “hello” and “goodbye,” ask for something by saying, “please” and receive it with a “thank you.” We have the script memorized.
What if we had none of this?
What if having your own home, car, and other toys, were no longer so important?
What if instead of being like a monkey in a circus looking for applause, you simply be the best you that you can be?
We think the applause and approval from someone else will satisfy us. We look for recognition and they tell us we are “good”, not really because we are but rather to be up to the demands. We receive the medal they give as a prize and with it pretend we are fulfilled.
Why are we so afraid of losing what we have already acquired?
Think for a moment of those who have left their countries throughout history in search of a better life, as many are doing worldwide right now. While some are able to move everything, others take what they can, often losing much of it on the way, ending up with the clothes on their back. Then, there is nothing to lose.
To these last brave souls, who travel with almost nothing at all, does it matter what they must leave behind? Of course it hurts! but they are convinced something greater lies ahead for them on the horizon. In a few words, they have nothing to lose.
Leaving a country or place is a good example of how someone can get to the feeling of having nothing to lose, but it also applies to all areas of life: work, relations, and others.
What would you do if you had nothing to lose?
Would you do what you are doing right now or would you do something else?
Would you stay with the same people in your environment or would you fire them in favor of others?
What are you afraid of losing?
Today can be a new start. You can begin a new chapter in your history of life, leaving behind the weight of those already written. This can be the day when you finally free yourself of everything weighing you down to travel lighter and fly higher. We convince ourselves we need many “things” to live, but the reality is that we need very little. With a worthy purpose in mind, there is nothing you have today which cannot be replaced at some point, and perhaps you in time, it really wasn’t necessary after all.
When there is nothing more to hang onto, nothing weighs you down, and there is nothing you have to drag along with you; you are left only with who you are and the world you want to conquer.
In Venezuela, where I have been a permanent resident for more than 25 years, the question many have on their minds is:
Should I stay in a country where the possibilities seem to be each day more limited, or should I emigrate to a country offering better opportunities?
While this decision is of vital importance to so many here in this tropical paradise which has been divided socially and politically, it is also valid for anyone in the world thinking not only about emigrating, but also for those thinking about making changes in their work, family situation, or any other circumstance begging an answer to the question:
Should I stay or should I go?
There isn’t a single answer and obviously everyone is different. The elements to consider include, but are not limited to: our family, friends, professional organizations, sports, and hobbies.
When it comes to making a decision about a difficult situation, it’s important we make a good one. For many years, I taught a class on Decision Making, and in a few words these are the steps we should take for most important decisions:
Define our Objective
Analyze the Problem
Generate Solutions
Take Action
The process is the same for any significant decision, but there is another ingredient, perhaps even more important than these logical steps. We should pay attention and listen to to what many refer to has our “heart”, though my intuition says it has more to do with a sixth sense, often difficult to put into words. It’s that voice we have inside encouraging us to continue when things get complicated. It’s the same voice warning us to proceed with caution.
Like any animal perceiving danger in the jungle, we also have our senses which generally become aware, though it’s not always clear in the moment the reason why. From the time we are young, we are frequently taught to ignore our feelings. We are trained to see them as a negative forces, to be rejected in favor of logic and reason. They tell us that, “Big boys don’t cry,” and that, “Little girls should always look pretty.”
In many cases we repress our emotions preferring to relegate ourselves to well-founded analysis when it’s time to make a decision. As to how our emotions relate to the question:
“Should I stay or should I go?”
In my way of thinking, it’s even more important to listen to that internal voice, paying close attention to what it says. For some people the voice comes clear and strong, indicating a quick exit is the best choice. For others, family ties and/or work related issues can be more important from one moment to the next.
For those who decide to leave Venezuela, I give them my best wishes. There are many opportunities in a world which seems smaller every day. In the morning we can be eating breakfast in Paris, and in the evening dining in New York. The borders of the world may still be controlled by visas and permissions, but if you really want to expand your horizons, not even the sky is the limit.
For those choosing to stay in Venezuela, I also give my best wishes. As is the case with the rest of the world, there are also many opportunities right here where we are, though granted they may be more difficult to find. Remember, some of our greatest achievements in the world have come from the most difficult of circumstances. For those willing to use their creativity to fulfill the needs of those who choose to stay in the country, neither is the sky the limit.
The decision to stay or go is by no means easy. Perhaps more important than the decision itself is the attitude with which we implement it. The best desires and intentions tumble with indecision and laziness. Even the worst decision can become a blessing when the actions taken to achieve it are filled with certainty and drive. Make the decision and then do all you possibly can to make it the best option.
Many of us yearn for them and not all of us get to enjoy them…
What are the golden years and what can we do to get to them without having to wait so long?
Traditional thought contemplates working 40 or 50 years in a company in order to have a retirement, allowing us to live the last years of our lives in peace and tranquility. While in the history of humanity this concept is relatively new, it is much like chasing after a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. During our working lives we want to get there, to that ideal state of not having to work; but the closer we get, the farther it seems to be and when we think we have gotten there, it frequently goes away.
Although it might sound improbable and difficult to do, how about retiring right now? The word “jubilare” in Latin means to “shout with joy”, and this same word in romance languages also means to retire. I propose we begin express joy starting right now, instead of waiting so many years to do so.
Traditionally, people worked until their health permitted. When they could no longer work due to sickness or physical limitations, their family or friends helped them subsist. It wasn’t until the 18th century when the idea of giving a monthly stipend to people who reached a certain age was introduced. In the 19th century several companies began giving their employees a pension after a required number of years of service.
In 1883, the German Chancellor, Otto Von Bismark announced the payment of a pension to Germany’s citizens when they reached the age of 65. It was a direct response against the rising popularity and power of the Marxist movement in his country. And so, Germany became the first country to offer a payment allowing people to live well in their golden years.
Is it necessary to wait until 65 years of age to express joy and enjoy the rest of our lives?
What can we do to shout with joy before getting to the age which for so many signifies the golden years?
The primary thing we need to do is to enjoy what we are doing now, and this isn’t always easy. For 17 years, as a financial consultant, I helped many people plan for their golden years by establishing a solid economic base allowing them to do so. In all that time, it seemed interesting to me that my clients’ happiness wasn’t determined by their profession, their job, or the amount of money they made, rather by their attitudes towards what they were doing. I met people with many titles, professionals, who made a lot of money, who were some of the most miserable souls I have known. I met others with no fancy titles, humble jobs, making little money who were some of the happiest people I’ve met.
So then, what’s the answer?
Our “Golden Years” can begin now with a positive attitude toward our work, our colleagues, ourselves and our environment. Our attitude toward what we do is fundamental. If you don’t like what you are doing or where you are right now, begin planning to do something else. In a nutshell, I love the way Facundo Cabral expresses the thought:
“Do only what you love and you will be happy. Those who love what they do are blessedly condemned to success, which will come when it should come, because what should be, will be and will come naturally.”
Enjoying each moment can convert you into a person filled with constant joy. This will allow you to “retire” and “shout with joy” giving and give a shine to your years, making them golden, without having to wait so long.
How much baggage are you taking with you on the adventure of life?
Some seem to take with them just about everything that can possibly be had in the world, while others travel lighter, only with the clothes on their back. Between these two extremes, go the majority of us. In addition to material things we take along the way, we also tend to take a lot of emotional baggage, which can be the heaviest of all.
The weight of these emotional suitcases depends on the moment. When they are full of applause and praise, it’s as if they were weightless, at times appearing to turn into wings and whisking us away to faraway places. With less weight in our emotional baggage, we tread lighter, walk with our head higher, have better posture and are more confidence in ourselves.
When negativity abounds, not being taken into account or a dirty look, can weigh down our emotional baggage in an instant. It’s then when we can create a vicious circle going around in our mind over and over again, pondering each of our decisions and elections. We ask why we did such and such, or the reason why someone reacted in a particular manner. Sometimes the weight can be so heavy, it impedes our progress.
It’s important to know the baggage we take with us, depends on us. We can decide which bags to keep and which to pitch. Some of the emotions we take with us, like love and happiness, deserve to be taken, even though they too have their weight. Though we really may not want it, others like anger, hate, and disenchantment will slip into our luggage from time to time. The idea is to preserve the positive and get rid of the negative as soon as possible.
Is it that easy to simply throw away the weight we don’t want?
It would be wonderful if it were so easy. The truth is that it isn’t easy to leave things behind, even when they harm us. Nevertheless, with practice, we can begin to get rid of what most weighs us down. I have an exercise you might like to take the emotions we feel to the test:
Think for a moment of a circumstance that is negatively weighing you down right now, it could be hate, anger, jealousy, selfishness, guiltiness or any other coming as a result of something specific in your life
Imagine the entire situation as if it were a movie and as you do, see yourself in the image with bag full of all the emotion you feel on your back
From the audience, as a spectator, watch everything
Looking from the outside in, from a different perspective, you can find answers to make your journey more pleasant
When we take a situation apart and examine it closely from the outside in, we find it often isn’t necessary or logical to carry heavy emotional baggage. To begin to lighten our load, we can get rid of anything that doesn’t make us happiness.
Life is dynamic and its natural to feel emotions. Far from ignoring them, or pretending they don’t exist, let’s begin to analyze each one, deciding whether or not we will allow its weight in our luggage. In time we learn traveling lighter, with less emotional baggage, makes the journey more enjoyable.
Under normal circumstances it points north, but if there is a magnet, metal, or electrical current nearby, it can change direction drastically in an instant, giving us a false reading.
Have your ever been going toward your “north”, your primary objective, and suddenly everything changes? You get a call, or some other interruption, and in an instant what seemed to be your primary objective simply goes away. Sometimes it’s almost imperceptible, and can happen with certain degree of frequency depending on our work and other activities. The interruptions can at times be so overwhelming we don’t even have a single moment in the day to focus on our true north.
Now comes the obvious, but tough question:
If your “north” is so important to you, why do you let others deviate your course so easily?
We need to accept that in most cases we do not own 100% of our time, and like it or not, there are things which inevitably must be done. Since this is the case, shouldn’t we at least plan some part of our day to do what we consider to be most important and not just dedicate ourselves to the needs of others? If we incorporate our goal consistently as a part of our daily plan, we have a much better chance of getting it.
Whenever we want to achieve something, be it personal or work related, we need to take care of how we use our time and invest it wisely. We all have the same amount of time in a day, some take full advantage of each moment, others waste them away.
How can we get to our north?
While we can create agreat, glorious plan carefully mapping out each step along the way, how about if we simply figure out what the next step is we need to take, and make that our goal for the day? It doesn’t have to be something big, and in fact the majority of huge goals can be broken down into bite size pieces, which can be handled easily one by one.
Making a living needn’t be a titanic mission. Day to day existence isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t really require any great talent or ability. Pointing our compass toward doing what we do well, and above all enjoy, is a great idea. Besides, it’s much more fun and pleasurable that way. When our work becomes our play, each day is a party but, of course, to get to the celebration, though to get there is not always a piece of cake.
With our “north” firmly n mind, we need to do whatever we can to keep our compass free of obstacles altering its accuracy. When situations of life knock us off course, which they most certainly will, it is our job is to free ourselves from the distractions as best we can, without losing sight of what is most important.
Just as a compass looks for its north, we too can keep pointed north by having clarity in our desires and objectives, along with a plan of action to achieve them. Doing so leads us naturally to what needs to be done to get to where we want to go. Our job is to maintain our compass free of interference, giving direction to our destiny.
It is common to think we have no options or opportunities. We are creatures of habit, and when we have to leave our comfort zone it’s easy to get blocked with the “impossibility” of what we do not know, rather than being motivated by the “possibility” of what can be.
Let’s take a look at these two phrases:
Opportunity Is Nowhere
Opportunity is Now Here
While the letters are exactly the same, depending on where we put the spaces, the meaning of each is completely different. In the first case, there is no opportunity anywhere; while in the second, opportunity is everywhere.
This makes me think of an excellent example regarding the scope of knowledge. Imagine for a moment you are in the middle of the woods on a dark night with a campfire. What you know right now is represented by the aura created by the light of the fire. All you do not know is outside the aura and cannot be readily seen, but it’s still there, we simply have not yet learned it.
The same happens with possibilities and opportunities. Those we have in mind exist because perhaps:
We had to learn about them through life’s circumstance
We made definite decision to know more about them
A challenge along the way drove us to grow
The person who knows how to fish to survive, doesn’t find much difficulty in doing so. Another person might think doing so might be too difficult, not necessarily because it is, but rather for a lack of knowledge. As the saying goes: teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime, give him a fish and you feed him only for one meal.
Losing a job or going through difficult economic circumstances can seem like the end of the world, but it needn’t be so since life’s difficulties can be resolved. Most important is to know at any time we can “learn to fish,” as long as we are alive. Possibility is right around the corner, to become opportunity. Making money and a living really doesn’t require much intelligence, and in fact, many do so with little or no education. The greater challenge, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, is to doing something we love. Something really giving meaning to our lives.
What would you do right now if you lost your job and had no money?
Would you give up on life and die of hunger, or look for another alternative?
We are all different, and as incredible as it might sound, some prefer throwing in the towel when difficulty arises, without discovering any other possibility. The greatest obstacles we find in life tend to be inside, in our the mind, rather than the environment.
Instead of grieving for a lost job or economic difficulty, understand opportunity exists for those willing to use their minds, putting action to thought, and working intelligently. Seek what you most like to do, learn what must be done to live by doing it, and live the life you have always dreamed living. Understand possibility, take advantage of opportunity.
Recently I read something I found intriguing about the difference between making a decision with the brain or the mind. While it may not be 100% true from a biological standpoint, it provides an interesting example to improve our ability to make a decision.
We are all born with a brain capable of doing an infinite number of things and from the time we are young, it helps us survive. For example, the brain tells us that when we are hungry, we should eat; and when there is danger, that we should fight or flee. In this same way, it accompanies us on our journey through life constantly analyzing every situation and giving us “suggestions,” which we may or may not follow. We don’t necessarily have to eat when we are hungry, nor do we have to fight or flee when there is danger, but nevertheless our brain continually gives us options.
The mind, according to what I read, works differently. It is influenced by what we have learned. Our experience gives “suggestions” coming as a result of those who are in our environment; such as our parents, relatives, neighbors, and teachers. At the same time, the information they give comes from their own minds that have been formed by their experience. While in the majority of the cases this information is given for our benefit, it is not always the best to make a good decision.
For example, our parents may tell us, “Don’t let anyone intimidate you!” The message is clear, if you encounter a bully in school or on the the street, don’t run, instead stay and fight for your rights. The reality is that there will be times when it is better to run rather than to stay and fight, particularly if the person intimidating us is much bigger and also has a weapon. While the mind analyzes what our parents have told us, the brain’s suggestion is quick and without hesitation. It tells us, “Run away as quickly as possible!” In this instant of doubt, before making the decision, it may be too late.
While there are times when the mind can help us to make a better decision, there are other times when instead of helping, it gets in the way. Let’s look at another example. We may be in a toxic relationship, which may even be violent. The brain says, “Get away, now!” In the meantime, the mind tells us, “No one is perfect,” and “we should forgive those who have wronged us.” Besides, in many cases we love the person who is doing the damage. Instead of making a decision to go in search for another healthier relationship, we stay in the toxic one.
While there are almost always exceptions to any rule, and a life without emotion must be like eating food with no spice; it is important to pay attention to both what our brain and our mind say. The brain analyzes each situation as it is, while the mind integrates experience and emotion.
When the time comes to make an important decision, we can make our decision using both rather than only one or the other. We can first analyze it with our mind, allowing prejudices and the experience of others to come into play. At the same time, to make a good decision, we should also analyze the situation as if we were a processor in a computer, with the brain taking each of the elements for what it is, without letting experience and emotion unduly sway our point of view. Let’s give weight to both experience and emotion, as well as careful analysis, considering each, and thus improving our ability to optimize our results.
Like a bird, we fly on our way day after day. Sometimes the flight is frenetic and frantic, others calm, cool and collected. Sometimes in a hurry to get someplace right now, others as if we were on a Sunday drive with no place special to go.
Some birds seem to be anguished in their constant search for food, while others fly calmly enjoying the moment, and then suddenly like a rocket plummeting down from the sky, they reach their objective in an instant, satisfying their need for food for several days.
A bird instinctively rises with the sun and flies in search of whatever is necessary for its survival. Sometimes seeking twigs for its nest, others looking for food, either for itself or its chicks. At the break of day its daily journey begins to achieve what it can while the light lasts. They know not of watches or time, rather are ruled by the sun, which comes and goes. Some of their days are full of danger, where death is ever present. Some days they may go an entire day without achieving their objective, and on yet others come across a great bonanza. Regardless, the sky is their playground, and each day is almost the same.
In a similar way, we too spend our days. On some we are like the hummingbird, who in constant movement goes from flower to flower constantly searching for the energy it needs to get through the day. On others we are like an eagle soaring above all, watching each detail calmly until finally finding its objective.
Despite the frenzy in which some birds spend their days, their lives are ironically shorter. Maybe it is this certainty which causes them to take advantage of the time they have, which like it or not, simply goes. Those living longer seem to have a calmer rhythm of life, where survival doesn’t appear to be their primary goal, rather one part of the great whole.
So with this said, my question to you now is:
How is your rhythm day to day?
Like a hummingbird who never stops, or like the eagle soaring majestically above it all?
Though we don’t always realize it, the answers to life’s most important questions generally tend to be inside of us. In many cases we need only open our eyes, shake our heads, and clear the mental cobwebs to find it. When this is the case, looking someplace else for what we have inside doesn’t usually give the best results. Directing our attention to our inner voice can lead us to what has always been there. Be like the majestic bird who flies in tranquility, knowing that their flight depends more on what they have inside than their wings, and this to them ultimately brings inner peace.
Like a great tree that needs nutrients to grow and prosper, we also need food for our soul. Sometimes in life all we need is sun, rain, and wind. In others, these same things can burn, drown, and topple us.
The sun, so vital for the growth of all, can burn us if we don’t protect ourselves from its intense power. The rain which nurtures us, giving us the moisture necessary to hydrate us, can also drown us at times with its power. Similarly, the wind which strengthens our roots and resolve, can also come in hurricane gusts leveling everything in its path.
The tree is marked by the adversity it undergoes, often changing dramatically in form and shape. From our birth and when we are small, our parents or others do the best for our well-being, and then when we can do it ourselves, we give our best effort to advance in life.
Our mind is a chest where we keep our most valued treasures. The content is fundamental for to who we are. If we feed our mind with happiness and a good disposition, our own tree can grow incredibly. If not, or in the absence of proper resources, our trunk and our base will likely become weak due to a lack of nutrients.
We can ask ourselves, where can we find the food we so need for our mind?
I have a proposal which can put you within reach of each of the nutrients you need to feed your mind and your soul.
How to do it?
Piece of cake!
Just come here daily, where I promise to share ideas which can be of use to you. If you would like, I can even send you a daily audio which might be of interest. All you need to do is ask, and it will be yours.
Additionally, if what you would like to do is feed your soul, you need look no farther than to the bookshelves of history; to the writings left as a legacy from brilliant minds like: Socrates, Plato, Marcus Aurelius, Machiavelli, Dostoevsky, James, Benedetti, and Mandino, among many others.
There are few problems any of us can face which haven’t been handled at sometime, in some way, by someone, somewhere. Now there are many people offering their services as coaches and mentors, giving us their advice on how to get out of the hole in which we often find ourselves. Nevertheless, and without taking away from their merit, the answer we need not be so far, or hidden in the perception of another.
The majority of the time, deep inside our soul we have the answer we need. Like the tree, rooted firmly in the ground we have the power to build and grow; if we pay attention to our own voice inside, we can find the key to open the lock previously inhibiting our progress.
Look inside yourself. Find the secret and the light you have inside allowing them to come out, dance, play, and shine. As you do this, your soul will be well fed with a new, special energy, opening your path to a new world of opportunities, just as is the case with a big, strong tree.
One of the most natural instincts we have is to fight or to flee. Without a doubt, these decisions can change our lives forever.
During the revolution for the independence of Venezuela, on July 6th, 1814, some 20,000 people left Caracas toward Barcelona, in the state of Anzoátegui, with Simon Bolivar, fleeing from the Spaniard Jose Tomas Boves. The approximately four thousand people who decided to stay and “fight” encountered a sadistic and ruthless leader with no sympathy. Besides allowing summary executions, he also permitted his men to rape and torture those who remained.
I wonder in this case, who was smarter, those who chose to flee with Bolivar o those who stayed to face their fate through the hate of Boves?
These decisions, among others, mark our existence. History is replete with situations where people have decided whether to take flight from a situation they could no longer withstand, or to stay and fight for what they thought was right.
Some can say those who flee are cowards for not staying to fight for their rights. Others may say those who stay are simply stupid for remaining to be killed, rather than choosing a better life.
Right now we see similar situations in countries like Syria, Cuba, and Venezuela, among others. While those who flee have the opportunity to begin a new life, those who stay and fight are fundamental in generating positive change.
Not everyone has the desire, or the economic wherewithal, to emigrate and begin a new life in a different place. For some, the only option they feel they have is to stay, though I believe we always have the ability to choose, though these decisions are not always easy.
Regardless of the choice made, most important is not the decision as such to fight or take flight, rather the circumstances and the reasons for why the decision are made. Many decide to do nothing, opting instead to have the decision “made” for them. Fighting or fleeing both have their place.
As is the case in the animal kingdom, in some cases it is worth staying and fighting, while in others remaining is a sure recipe for death. The survival of an animal, and in our case of a human being, frequently depends on the decisions made in these critical moments in time.
Those who flee have the opportunity to begin with a clean canvass, with the ability to paint it with the colors they want. For those who stay to fight, frequently the canvass is already stained, which presents a tremendous challenge to paint freely.
When at all possible, before making a decision to fight or take flight, it is important to carefully analyze each of the factors involved in the situation. With the decision made, we should do something to realize our dreams and achieve that which we most desire. Let’s do all we can to take the reins of our life and not simply allow the decision to be taken for us.
The struggle for power in Venezuela right now is the same struggle occurring since the beginning of time in nature.
Power tends to be something that we, as human beings, covet at some time or another in our lives. There may be those of us who aren’t mature enough to accept it, or perhaps just too fearful to admit it; but at some point we have all wanted to have power, or use it, at least for a little while.
It’s not common for the person who has control to release it without a fight. It’s nice being the one in control. Whey we say, “Jump,” people ask, “How High?” When we say, “Sing,” people ask, “What song?” An authoritarian style of leadership might achieve its desired objectives in the short term, and perhaps even consolidate power, but over the long-term it tends to leave many discontent in the process. There are others ways of exerting power, which are more subtle, but the result is usually the same. When it comes time for a shift in power, there is resistance, though the law of nature will always choose the winner without pity or prejudice. Those who are stronger and adapt better to change, win the game; while the losers take refuge, if they can.
Changes in power are frequent and constant in history. No empire has lasted forever. The young and the ambitious challenge the more seasoned and powerful until they reach their objective. As long as the one in power is able to repel his enemies with force and the support of his allies, he maintains control. When he can no longer withstand the advances of his rival, whether it be from a crease in his armor, or an all out civil war, power goes in favor of the stronger and more adaptable.
Right now, the struggle for power in Venezuela has gained the interest of world, and the way things are going it promises to be historic. Due the magic of modern communications, millions of people are aware everywhere of what is happening, and they can see first hand the daily occurrences rocking a country on the verge of collapse.
The questions on the minds of many are:
Will the current regime consolidate power to rise and rally, or will the armor crack, leading to their defeat and giving rise to new leadership?
Will the people warm to the idea of leaving a position of comfort and convenience, to work hard and honestly for the country which so badly needs them?
If a change in power does occur, are those who want power prepared to manage a country so divided?
These and other questions will come up along the way. Without a doubt we will see nature take its course, as the stronger and more adaptive to change wins in the struggle for power.
Many of us live in “separate realities” due to our different points of view, expectations, and experiences. Sometimes these can be good and at others, not so.
In August of 1992, almost 25 years ago, I arrived to Venezuela between two coup attempts taking place that same year. Because of the difference in language and culture, I found myself initially in a separate reality, understanding little of all the commotion around me. My way of thinking and expressing myself marched to the beat of a different drum than those in my new home. Nevertheless, in time I became accustomed to my new reality, which despite all of its craziness, I began to like, and as such have now been here after so many years.
At the time, I also became aware of another separate reality. I found that despite not having many of the things I had been taught to be necessary for happiness, many were happy anyway. On the other hand, in the United States, where I was born and raised, I saw others who were unhappy despite living the “American Dream” and having all the toys money can buy.
In 1999, I moved to Argentina where I saw another separate reality begin to unravel and which culminated in 2002, when the government lost control of the artificial parity they maintained between the Argentine peso and the US dollar. The result was an “economic adjustment” leading to a “corral”, effectively devaluing the value of Argentine investments from one day to the next and dramatically limiting access to investors’ capital. Panic led to demonstrations, looting, and general dissatisfaction within the society.
In recent years, I have lived a separate reality, once again in Venezuela where the government sees one reality and the opposition another. We now live in an “actual reality” where the same event can have two completely different versions depending on who you listen to. Pay attention to only one of the two political forces, and they each seem to be right. Listening to the arguments of both leads to confusion and a lack of confidence, and in many cases, it’s virtually impossible to know who to believe.
Living in a separate reality can be convenient at the time, so as not to get carried away by what is happening around us. Nevertheless, there comes a time when it’s necessary to come back down to the actual reality surrounding us, accepting what we cannot change and modifying what is within our control.
The reality today in Venezuela is that it isn’t easy to happy with the hate, anger, and division in the society. As such, Venezuela needs a new reality; one designed to unify a divided country. Instead of making new laws, we should abide to those that are existing, while increasing productivity, well-being, and tranquility.
In order for this to happen, each of the “separate realities” should come together on one important point: instead of talking about “us” and “them”, we should begin to work in function of the betterment of “all”, covering us in an environment eliciting a wonderful collective smile.
Have you ever felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders?
I think we have all had the feeling every now and again. Economic, social, and political problems abound in the news around the world. Incessant inflation, social unrest, and political conflict with no end in sight tend to be an everyday thing for many.
What can we do to handle all these challenges?
While each situation is different, and there isn’t one answer that works for everything, to start we need only get beyond the next bend. Life is like a road full of extremely long stretches, dangerous curves, high passes and deep valleys. Each part can seem like a sensational dream or like a a terrible nightmare.
The only thing we need to do is to get past the next curve in the road. While it seems quite simple, sometimes it can be difficult. Nevertheless, think about the fact that a journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step and the only part of the road where we can leave our footprints is right beneath our feet.
We can hope, and even obsess about something beautiful at the end of the road, but I insist life is about living this moment, right now. It’s common to fret about what we’ve already done and worry about what’s to come, but the truth of the matter is that the only thing we can do is to act in the present. No amount of anxiety can change what has been done in the past and worrying about what hasn’t happened is an exercise in futility leading only to frustration.
Concentrating only on making it to the next bend, we can leave done what is already done, while also leaving tomorrow for tomorrow. Each day to its own. Some days we may take only a few steps, and on others fall back. Then there will be those when everything is going right and with the wind in our sails, we go much farther, as if we were skipping over water.
Staying with on our feet firmly on the ground, our eyes firmly on the horizon, and taking one step after another is the best way to get to closer to where we want to go. Have you ever thought about the number of drops of water it takes to fill a river? Each one by itself, separate and apart, doesn’t do much, but together they create majestic rivers and magnificent lakes.
Concentrate your effort on what you can do right now to get to where you want to be tomorrow, taking the steps necessary daily to get there. Remember, Rome was not built in a day and life is not an isolated event, rather a series of occurrences making up our journey. Do what is in your power to manage each situation as it arises, giving your best effort daily. To get to where we want to go, we will get there more pleasantly and with less fatigue when we focus only on getting just beyond the next bend in the road.
Like every game, we first throw the dice to start. As a result, we get our starting point, where we are born in the world. Some are fortunate enough to have both parents present at the event, others go their entire lives without knowing them. Some come into the world with a silver spoon in their mouth, others are lucky if they get anything to eat. Some are healthy, while others struggle for each breath. In this way, we each begin the game of life.
Our road takes different directions depending on a series of decisions. The decision, or the circumstances, bringing our parents together and their subsequent union. The decision to take the pregnancy full term, thus starting us out in the game of life. As we grow there are other decisions determining where we live and where we will study.
After this initial phase, we are the ones in large part making the decisions.
Who will friends be?
What will our pastimes be?
What will our profession be?
Our failures and successes early on depend a great deal on our environment, but there comes a time when we need to take responsibility for our lives. Chance determines where we begin this magical game, we elect where and how far we are willing to go.
Along the way there will be traps to be overcome and lessons to learn. There will be paths to take, some fun, others not. Some of our decisions will give much satisfaction, others much cause for concern. Loved ones will stay by the wayside and our most valued treasures will fade with time.
Some of the things happening to us will give rise to contemplate our part in the great whole, others will simply come and go…
In the great scheme of things, we need to determine our role. We can play the role of the victim, looking for someone to blame; or take responsibility for our faults, taking pride in what we do and striving to do better as we continue on this incredible ride.
Regardless of our place in the game, how about if we take the lead role rather than simply being a part of the background? We should take the reins of our destiny so as not to get stuck along the way, like the others who have already reached the end of the highway.
Let’s rise and rally daily, giving thanks for the new day before us and for being part of this marvelous creation. Let’s rise and rally with energy and enthusiasm taking each day in the best possible way in spite of difficulty the game may have in store for us today.
Play the game and be part of life. When we see life as a fun, exciting game, we can overcome each difficulty being calm, cool, and collected. Most important is not each winning or losing on each move we make rather enjoying the process. We can give our best effort to play the game daily making our own space in time, from here to eternity.
We contemplate these, and other existential questions, as we consider our purpose in life. The answers allow us to determine where and how we are headed.
It seems to boil down to becoming “successful”, and so comes into play our belief in success, and thus determine our purpose. It is common to think success is related to having a certain amount of money, enabling us to bask in the sun with our beverage of choice on a beach somewhere in paradise. While surely it is nice to think about doing this for a few days, or maybe even several weeks, after a couple of months it would surely be quite boring. What meaning can life possibly have, if we do nothing?
Why would doing nothing eventually be boring?
Every living being is meant to be useful. Everything has its purpose. If the bees and insects are of benefit in the food chain in their own way.
Shouldn’t we also be useful?
Throughout history we can see examples of people who have come together with others to achieve an objective, drive change, or simply to be useful. When it comes to survival, we all must do our part.
It’s worthwhile to ask:
How useful are you?
What value do you give?
What is your purpose in life?
To whom are you important?
Who benefits from your actions?
What is your part in this great whole?
What can you do to better what you do?
Most important aren’t the answers we give, rather the questions we pose. The rules of life are quite easy and not very complicated. Everyone must be useful in life and do their part. When we are useful, we are able to enjoy the best it has to offer because sooner or later, we receive what we give.
Finding our purpose in life isn’t always easy and it can take an entire lifetime to do; but when we do, we become an integral part of the great whole. Sharing that special something we all have is one of life’s greatest greatest gifts.
If you are still not sure about your purpose, find it and share it with the world. Life does not consist in working so that one day we can do nothing, rather finding that something keeping us alive and in the present each day as we give the best we have to offer to the world.
Among our most difficult challenges is to be congruent with what we feel and who we are. From the time we are small children, we are infused with ideas about the rules and norms we should follow; about what is right and wrong, as well as what we should and should not do.
As a child, we are told: “Big boys don’t cry,” and, “Little girls should always look pretty.” Nevertheless, the pain producing tears doesn’t distinguish between gender, and we all have a bad day every now and then, even if we are beautiful. We are taught in school to be the best student in the class, instead of being instructed to learn and to be wise. We were rewarded when we followed the rules and punished when we went outside the limits. We were taught to embrace the the model of a responsible father and a loving mother.
As we grew, we also learned we should always be happy and motivated, because being depressed and down doesn’t “look good”, and as such, isn’t allowed. We have been trained to dress impeccably before going out into the world, and of course, we should always have a smile from ear to ear. We have been educated to grin even when we feel bad and to say “thank you” and “please” even when it doesn’t seem right. We have been conditioned to be quiet, when it makes no sense.
It’s worthwhile to ask ourselves
Why have we been brought up this way and who is responsible for filling our heads with so many prejudices between what is good and bad?
More than society, which makes a great scapegoat, it has been our own parents, and their parents before them. With the best of intentions they transmitted a series of ideals about characteristics a perfect person should possess, which by the way, are virtually impossible to achieve.
Has there ever been anybody whose behavior was beyond reproach, at all times, and with no exception?
Is there anyone who in a moment of weakness has not said even a “little white lie” with the justification of not making someone feel bad?
It’s easy to talk about honor, honesty and even integrity, but it’s very difficult (if not impossible), to live a life without mistakes or an occasional black cloud covering our world.
Is it realistic and desirable to want to be the perfect person we have been told we should be?
Is there anything worse than going to a job we hate, or having to live over and over again the same drama with the same person?
Instead of trying to be the perfect person in some fairy tale, we can give our best effort to be the best we can be by being congruent with what we feel, think, and do, taking into account that:
We don’t always feel good
We don’t always want to go out like a smiling “knight in shining armor”
We don’t always want to be working in a dead end job leading us absolutely nowhere
We don’t always want to have the same discussions, for the same reasons, with the same people
When we understand that what is really right and wrong has more to do with what we feel inside than anything outside, we begin to comprehend it isn’t necessary to conform or bend to every norm we have ever learned. In addition, we can recognize our parents, teachers, and others who have influenced us, have not wanted to purposely hurt us, and on the contrary, they have wanted to help us; though many of their teachings don’t hold up under reality.
So, what can we do?
We can be congruent by giving our best effort, despite not feeling good
We can be congruent by saying “I can’t go on” when our body says, “Stop!”
We can be congruent by doing the best we can in the job we have, knowing it is what keeps us alive and can get us to where we want to go
We can be congruent by saying, “Enough,” to the person who continues like a scratched record, saying the same things over and over, we don’t want to hear ad infinitum.
Life isn’t always brilliant, beautiful, and bright. There are times when we will not feel good and when it seems as if the weight of the world is upon us. In those instances, we can give our best effort with what we’ve got, where we are, and how we are. Being congruent is knowing that even though we may not be perfect, we are perfect in our own imperfection.
While many strive for financial freedom, few actually seem to attain it.
Why do so few people achieve this worthy ideal?
The problem doesn’t tend to be one of education, or earning capacity, rather a lack of planning. If we don’t plan our financial health, we will be like a ship without a rudder or a sail on the high seas of life, constantly being pushed and shoved by circumstances. When we have a plan to achieve financial freedom, inconveniences are but minor detours.
While there are many ways to define financial freedom, I will define it this way:
“Financial freedom is being able to do what you want to do, where you want to do it, and with whom you want to do it.”
Looking at financial freedom in this way, it isn’t so difficult to achieve, though it is far from easy. It takes determination, perseverance, and persistence. In most cases, it takes time, though there are always exceptions.
Three steps to put you on track to financial freedom:
1) Pay yourself first: Before paying others, pay yourself first. While we tend to pay the electricity, the telephone, the water, as well as the rest of our bills without thinking twice about them, the payment many miss is to pay themselves. I suggest you pay yourself 10% of everything you earn. Aren’t you worth it? If you are really good at what you do, why not pay yourself a bit more? I know it seems impossible, and in the beginning it is difficult, but you can establish the habit of putting aside 10% of everything you earn. You will soon learn you can manage the rest of your expenses by either reducing them or making more money. It’s that simple.
2) Use a professional: When investing your money, seek out the right professional to advise you along the way. Would you ask your best friend to fix your plumbing, if he isn’t a plumber? Of course not, so why would you ask him for investment advice? When you are ready to invest your money, look for an expert in the area you want to invest. If you want to invest in diamonds, find a jeweler; if you want to invest in real estate, find a real estate professional; if you want to invest in the stock market, find an investment professional. Taking advice from the wrong person with your hard earned money can be a very costly mistake.
3) Invest in yourself: After you have saved enough money to cover unexpected emergencies, begin to invest in yourself. Buy your own home, invest in your education and in your self-improvement. Find out what it is that you really love and enhance your ability to do it, because when you love what you do for a living, you will be happy. One goes with the other. Invest your time and money to become the best you can be at that activity. Once you do, you will never have to work another day in your life, and the money will come readily.
The majority of people don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan. Reaching financial freedom isn’t about having a specific amount of money in the bank. It is about wisely using your financial resources to take care of short, intermediate and long-term necessities. Paying yourself first, using professionals and investing in your future gives you the wherewithal to create your own life doing what it is you love to do, where you want to do it, and with those you want to do it with; this is financial freedom.
What we are and what we have is the direct result of what we have done, or in many cases simply left undone, with what we have been given. Though this seems to be so simple and clear, it isn’t always so easy to realize that for every cause, there is an effect. Sometimes the results are positive, and others, not so.
The Third Law of Isaac Newton tells us:
“Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”
While this may be the case with physical objects, it doesn’t always hold true in human relations or emotions. While it seems clear there is a direct cause and effect for our actions, they don’t always appear to be equal or opposite. Sometimes the effect is more magnified, other times minimized; while the direction can be the same, or opposite.
Let’s take a look at an example. We have two employees, working in the same company, doing the same work, and with the same pay. One of them always arrives before starting time, gives his best effort to get his work done, goes with the flow, and stays after quitting time when necessary. The other typically arrives late, does his best to avoid work at all cost, resists change, and is out the door like a bat out of hell at quitting time.
While it is not always the case, in general the first person will be promoted and generally do well in life regardless of his profession. The other one is likely to be one more waiting in line for a handout, and then disappointed if he doesn’t get it. Of course, there will times when someone works diligently and does not go far. Also there will be others, when those with bad intentions get ahead despite their actions, but these tend to be the exception rather than the rule.
We are not responsible for where we are born, or under which circumstances, but we are responsible for where we end up. When it comes to our troubles, we love to blame them on our parents, our colleagues, or any other handy scapegoat. Nevertheless, there is only one person who is responsible for where we are, how we are, and who we are today. We are, in fact, quite familiar with this person as we see him or her every morning when we wake and see our reflection in the bathroom mirror.
The equation for cause and effect is quite simple, and goes something like this:
Those who get up and go to school, get educated; those who won’t, simply stay stupid
Those who are enthusiastic about life, find gems wherever they go; those who are not find rocks instead
Those who plant good seeds day after day, reap bountiful harvests, those who plant bad seeds, rot and fester
Those who rise with the sun and work until it goes down, earn an honest day’s pay; those who stay in bed look to be fed
Those who look for opportunities in life, find them everywhere; those who keep their eyes closed daily see opportunity no where
We get out of life what we put into it. When we live with love, compassion, and freedom, our will, will be done. If we live with hate, anger, and jealousy, we will be lucky if anything gets done. As sure as the day follows the night, we will harvest tomorrow the seeds we sow today, because every cause has an effect.
Media bombards us daily with trouble where we live and abroad. In addition to all the world’s challenges, we must also resolve our own economic, social, and emotional necessities. Despite all the noise, I have a proposal…
Instead of complaining
and lamenting, how about if you color your world with love, hope, and a positive attitude?
In my first book A SPECIAL GIFT, I propose creating a habit to live a happier and more productive life. In the text, there is a “book within the book,” called Reflections. My suggestion is simple, read daily one of the reflections to obtain and maintain an excellent attitude. Each relates to the word ATTITUDE in the following way (click to go to the Reflections):
In time, I decided to assign a day of the week to each of the Reflections. While it doesn’t coincide exactly in English, the Spanish version works very well, as follows:
As I wrote Reflections, assigning a day to each wasn’t my intention, in time it has taken form and makes sense. Monday is perfect to begin the week with Action. Tuesday is a great day to work on Confidence which helps us in all we do. Wednesday is for Tenacity to get us through hump day. Thursday is time to step up our game with Initiative to create a better way. Friday is a great day to practice Tolerance and compassion, forgiving those who trespass against us, for they know not what they do. Saturday is to be Useful to others and ourselves. Finally, Sunday is a great day to take a pause, reflect on the week that was, the week that will be, and most importantly, about how our Desire and passion align with our daily activity. Each day with its own reflection to make it a bit more interesting.
As a result of a suggestion from a reader, I now cover each day with color, so now each day looks like this:
If you follow me, surely you have noted for some time now, I cover each day with a concept and a color. The pattern becomes even more dynamic as I combine a daily a Seed of Success for each day of the month.
In this way, each day My Message for You is sustained by three pillars:
Reflection + Color + Seed of Success = My Message for You
The main ideas behind each of the 31 seeds I use throughout the month are as follows:
Feeling good and motivated is not a part time thing, done from time to time; rather a full time job which should be done daily as long as we live.
Think for a moment about painting your life with:
Color
Reflections
Seeds of Success
My Message for You
Each day gives us the chance to create a rainbow of opportunity.
What are you waiting for?
I invite you to go forth with me daily with color and thought to put your best foot forward. Having an upbeat, positive attitude will not solve all of our challenges, but it will help us get through each of them with more clarity and dignity. We can stay off to one side watching others as life goes by or get up on stage to play the leading role in our own history.
Will you get up onstage and join me to giving color and thought to each day?
The dawn of a new day is upon us. Opportunity is now here on a daily basis and it is up to each of us to take advantage of this moment, or waste it away in nothingness.
Problems and troubles abound in a world where war and terrorism dominate the headlines. Dirty politics and social warfare are the rule, rather than the exception. Though we have the capacity to feed and house the world, instead we prefer to protect our own turf; later finding ourselves surprised at how hunger kills so many indiscriminately.
What if each of us looked at the other as our brother giving a helping hand rather than chastising and reprimanding them?
What if we each began to look at the big picture of our brief time here on Earth, rather than being so protective of our own self interests?
Money, like the ocean, ebbs and flows. Similarly, our best friend may too one day move away and go. Loved ones will also go one by one, until one day, we will be the ones to go from this reality we call life to another reality yet unknown.
Like the rock, polished by the adversity of time, each of life’s little heartaches are no more than a bump in the road, making us better as we go. The game changes, we make adjustments and simply work our way through. Yet through all of our ups and our downs, there is one thing we can always count on…
A New Dawn will Come
Tomorrow, just before daybreak, the faint light of the sun will appear softly on the horizon, indicating the dawn of a new day. Within a matter of minutes, the darkest of nights becomes a magical wonder as the sun makes its entrance into a new day.
As the dawn of each new day breaks, consider each of the days in the billions of years the planet has in existence. In each case, the sun has peeked tenuously over the horizon before coming forth big, bold, and beautiful, giving each living thing the light and energy necessary to make it to another day.
Consider also, the darkness blanketing the world with so much terrible news. History is replete with stories which make our skin crawl at the evil nature some hold. Daily news stories strike awe throughout the world, as a select few take it upon themselves to wreak havoc wherever they go.
Yet through all of this, good tends to prevail over bad, truth over deception, and positivism over negativism. At times it seems we are too small to make much of a difference in this humongous, wondrous world. We often forget life does not consist in getting from here to there in one huge bound, rather being part of the show and sticking around.
We can each raise the banner of hope we have inside, bearing witness to the dawn of each new day, doing our best to play each in the very best possible way.
In what we know as the grand concept of time, the time we have in this world is relatively short.
During the first stage of our lives, we are dedicated to learning about our world and our place in it. During the second, we do what we can to obtain a plentiful life, be it alone or accompanied. In the third, we consider what we have done and analyze the winding road over which we have come. As part of our learning process, we ask ourselves:Why are we here?
What is life about?
While I confess, I do not know the answer, these and other questions commonly come to mind as we think about what happens when we pass from what we now as our existence.
Is there life after this one?
Could it be, when this one is over, it’s all done?
Regardless of the final result, there is something we can do to assure a part of us remains, even after when we are physically gone. Starting today, we can write eternal lines of time in the hearts of those we love.
For me, it’s fun to do it with my daily writing, which will stay around somewhere for quite sometime. Also, it is true we write words and leave our mark through the small actions and words we all leave daily along our way.
The eternal lines of time we write remain in the hearts of those with whom we come into contact. Many times we forget that what we do and what we say becomes etched into the lives of others and remembered in ways perhaps far beyond what we can possibly imagine.
The eternal lines of time we leave are reflected in the words and the actions carried from generation to generation, from father to son, from mother to daughter. Similarly, they are reproduced in those who cross our path.
We often forget what we do is left as our testament. It represents our passage through time. Though we are not perfect, and will likely commit many “horrors” on our road, we can do our best daily to assure our thoughts, words, and actions are the best we can possibly give.
We can decide if the eternal lines to time we write are left haphazardly, without rhyme or reason, or if on the contrary, they are left intentionally and carefully putting our best foot forward to construct a beautiful memory which will one day be all that is left of our journey here on Earth.
Begin today to write the eternal lines of time you want to be remembered. Write them to those you love, show them to those on the way, and above all, live them to make sure your journey is more significant and pleasurable.
Our days and nights tend to be in great part very predictable. Daily we take almost the same steps and do similar tasks. Nevertheless, in the midst of our precious routines, one of the most common complaints we hear is:
“I don’t have time for anything!”
Curious is that time remains the same. It never changes. Each day has the same seconds, minutes, and hours.
Can they possibly change from one day to the next?
We could say the problem likely lies in our failure to “take” time to enjoy the time we have as we would like, instead of running around doing “urgent” things that seem to be never ending, and seldom create pleasure.
Then we get to the end of the day, and we ask:
Where did the time go?
What do you do with yours?
As a suggestion, begin to closely examine each of your activities. Awaken your conscious to your senses. Pay close attention to your ability to use each. Touch the surface of an interesting rock, smell the aroma of a flower, look at the majesty of the heavens, hear the song of a bird, enjoy the sweet taste of a mango.
Like everyone, I have my own routines. One of my favorites is my “Daily Deed” which includes reciting aloud 31 Seeds of Success, while I drink my coffee in the morning and watch the sunrise. During this time, a few days ago, on a day like any other, it became a day which I will mark in history:
As I walked outside, nice and early, just before dawn, I saw how one of my favorite stars, Sirius, twinkled to greet me on the eastern horizon. I raised my gaze and saw Orion’s Belt, right where it’s supposed to be, pointing the way to Sirius. After some stretching and “Sun Saluting,” I prepared a nice hot cup of aromatic coffee which impregnated the air, with the promise of its wonderful flavor.
At exactly 6:00 am, as I began to recite my daily seeds, with my cup of coffee in hand, and watched in wonder as the night gave way to the day. The clouds, before almost imperceptible, became visible against the blue sky. Then, suddenly and without warning, there was an explosion of color in the sky. It began at the edges of the clouds and soon invaded the heavens above. During the next several minutes, I experienced a spectacle in different tones: white, black, red, purple, pink, and blue, completely covering the sky.
At that precise moment, I imagined it impossible for anyone else in the world, alive or dead, who could have enjoyed a sunrise, more than I enjoyed the one before me. Shortly, and to my pleasant surprise, as an added bonus, my macaws paid a visit to eat homegrown sunflower seeds, and then later our garden gave us a spectacular zucchini.
You might say:
“That’s nice, Rob, but what does this have to do with my life? Do you want me to get up in the morning and watch the sunrise every day, feed macaws, and take care of a garden?”
Though it’s probably not a bad idea, this is not my intention. Instead, don’t do what I do, or what anyone else does. Think daily about what you do and how you do it. Consider how you can awaken your consciousness to things in your ambiance. Determine where your time goes and how much of it you invest in each activity.
In the end, most important aren’t the steps we take, rather how we enjoy them.
Where you can you take an instant to look at a beautiful flower?
Who can you plan your day to see every sunset?
What will motivate you to see each sunrise?
Minutes are the words which form the sentences, paragraphs, and chapters in your book of life. As such, awaken your senses to each step of the way, making yours a story worth remembering.
Walking are your footsteps the road, and nothing else; Walking, there is no road, we make our road as we go. As we go, we make our road, and as we look back see the road over which we will never again go. Walking, there is no road only the wake as we go.
~ Antonio Machado (trad. by me)
Since the first time I heard the song Cantares, by Joan Manuel Serrat, which includes this wonderful poem, I have been in love with the image the poet paints with his words.
“Walking there is no road, we make our road as we go.”
Do you doubt for a minute the road you have traveled is a result of steps you have taken?
While we can’t decide where we begin life, we can determine where we end up; though obviously not exactly how. Though this for some reason seems to come as a surprise to many, we are the direct result of all we have done; and too, of what we have not.
It’s easy to criticize and see how things should be. Difficult is taking the steps necessary to get to where we want to go.
The place where you end up in life, doesn’t depend on your parents, the school you went to, your race, color, or even where you were born. There are people all over the world who have attained fabulous success without the presence of their parents, having gone to a good school, being of a particular race, color, or having been born in privileged place. Like the Phoenix, they have risen from the ashes to achieve much with little.
I’ll repeat:
You don’t decide where you are born, but you do determine where you end up.
The road traveled yesterday and the steps you took, brought you to where you are today. In this very same way, the steps you take today will take you to where you will ow. Instead of blaming your circumstances for your lot in life, instead, determine the steps which need to be taken today to pave the way to where you want to be. Take care with the steps you take today, because they determine your destiny tomorrow.
For quite some time now, I have had a love affair with Natural Law, which I see as nothing more than the natural order established by the universe and nature. Nevertheless, I am coming to believe the Law of Man, can also gives us tremendous benefits, as it gives order to a world which often seems to have no order.
In the case of Venezuela, the country I have called home now for many years, the current situation has made me realize that the law which currently predominates here is Natural Law. The results are not good. The law which up until now has seemed to be so nice and pretty, suddenly doesn’t seem so noble.
To further explain my point, let’s look at some of the differences between Natural Law and Man’s Law:
Natural Law condemns and executes, without judgment and without mercy
Man’s Law considers and contemplates, before then passing judgment
Natural Law can wipe out an entire city in catastrophe, without batting an eye
Man’s Law looks to protect against this and other types of calamity
Natural law allows the strongest to take the lion’s share of about anything
Man’s Law looks to divide everything more or less evenly
Natural Law requires we be always aware of any danger
Man’s Law allows us to live in peace and tranquility
So it’s worth asking ourselves:
By which of these laws would we prefer to live, Natural Law or Man’s Law?
While I realize that Natural Law will eventually takes its course, I am grateful for Man’s Law, which allows us to live in peace and tranquility, in a world ruled by aggressivity and noise.
The river will continue to follow its course, and the world will continue turning. In the meantime, ours is to look for and make sense out of what frequently makes no sense. If you would have asked me yesterday:
“Rob, what path would you prefer, the one following Natural Law, or the one continuing along Man’s Law?
Without hesitation, I would have answered, “Natural Law, of course!”
Now, after analyzing the situation from various points of view, to write this Lunar Letter, I have another perspective, another idea about how to best proceed. Our emotions, as well as our fears and doubts, are often generated by a recurring battle we have inside our mind about what we “should” do, according to what we have been taught and what we “feel” we should do inside our heart.
We should remain aware of the power of Natural Law, and what it can make us do. When we least expect it, Natural Law can take control of our most basic instincts, turning us into no more than simple animals.
My recommendation is quite simple, but far from easy. We can be part of the solution, rather than part of the problem, showing respect both for Natural Law and Man’s Law. In this way, we can begin to live in a society where the peace and tranquility are the order of the day, with harmony reigning between man and nature; instead of so much hate and hostility we so commonly experience from day to day.
We all have a defined amount of time here on Earth, as we know it, and the time we live depends on many different factors. Some of us live until we are quite old, others fold much sooner. What is for sure, is if you are reading this message right now, you are still alive, and that means what is yet to come is just now starting.
So far, from where have you come and to where have your footsteps led?
Have you enjoyed your journey, or would you prefer set it aside and begin another?
Regardless of your answer, beginning right now, you have the power to direct footsteps taking you to a better tomorrow. Many times we stay stuck longing for what once was and worrying about what tomorrow might be, forgetting what is most important; there is no other option than living at any other time than right now in this moment.
Have you thought in the footsteps you leave daily?
When people see you, do they smile cordially or do they run and hide?
We tend to complicate life and the truth is it doesn’t have to be so difficult.
You may ask me, “How’s that?”
It’s really quite simple, but not always easy:
Be careful of where you step, for there you will leave footprints
Do your best to leave footprints enhancing where you are
Be careful whom you step on along the way
Decide where you want to go every day
Go with good company
Leave footsteps in your path worthy of being followed, studied, and remembered. May the expression of those who follow them be one of happiness and may this bring a big smile to their faces, and above, may their expressions be charged with love in their souls for all who have experienced the wonderful effect of your footsteps.
Among the most basic of our necessities are: a roof over our head, food for our bellies, and procreation to assure our species in the future. If this was all we needed, many of us would be ready to rock, but not necessarily rockin’.
Think for a moment about your own situation. If you have a roof over your head to keep protected from the elements, food to eat, and sex to entertain you, what else could you possibly need? In order to have these three necessities completely covered, we need financial intelligence for the first two, and emotional intelligence for the last.
In addition to these three basic necessities, what are some of the others we must satisfy?
Clothes to cover us, friends to laugh with, family to make us feel good, and love to sprinkle over everything we do, are also important. In the case of these needs, we also need financial intelligence to manage the first and emotional intelligence to manage the others.
If we think about life, in its most basic sense, what more do we need than a roof, food, sex, clothes, friends, family, and love?
Nevertheless, we have been conditioned to “need” much more, including some of the following:
A better telephone, even though the one we have still works
A television with a flat screen measured in feet instead of inches
A watch which costs the equivalent of small towns in many places
A tablet with the latest technology, and of course worldwide free wifi
A red Ferrari that can go 180 mph, though that’s way over the speed limit
A big house with a huge pool and ten extra rooms for all your family and friends
Just to be clear, I’m not saying these things are undesirable, I ask only this:
What price you are willing to pay for something not 100% necessary?
For one moment, let me play the “Devil’s Advocate” regarding some of our “Basic Needs”.
When you think about it, a “stupid” phone makes the same call as a “smart” one
A television from the last century shows the same image, though a bit blurry
An ordinary watch tells the same time as one much more expensive
The computer you’ve had forever still connects, though it is slow
Pubic transportation is available to take us about anywhere
Having a roof over our head is a wonderful blessing
To make sure I explain myself in my message to you; any objective, material, spiritual, or otherwise CAN be valid. In fact, having in a mansion with a huge pool, a red Ferrari, the latest tablet, an expensive watch, a television covering the wall, and the greatest telephone, must be very nice. But, once again, I ask:
What is the cost you are willing to pay for all this?
Everything has a cost, though it is not always paid in money. The cost of outstanding success in the business world, has cost more than one his family and his marriage. The cost of trickery and deceit, has cost many others years in jail. The cost of spending all of our time with our family, and not working, could also mean our family does not have enough to eat.
It’s a question of delicate balance we must strike between work and play. Ideally, the best thing we can all do is to make our work our play, and that way, we never have work again. On our own way, the best we can do, day after day, is to value ourselves for WHO we are, rather than WHAT we’ve got, and give it our very best shot.
For many of us, we appear to be singing pretty good when we are in the shower, until someone hears us from the other side of the door and asks us if there is some kind of problem because of the horrendous sounds emanating from within. Of course, there are some who have a wonderful, well-toned voice, but they are the exception, rather than the rule.
Regardless of what others think, for those of us who sing in the shower, our sounds (shouting) can seem great. We close our eyes and imagine we are on stage in front of a large audience, or perhaps on a program seen world-wide, like the The Voice, where we have the opportunity to showcase our vocal talent.
As a result of my own experience singing in the shower, following are some of my thoughts:
1) Do we really sing better in the shower? Perhaps it’s mere illusion and simply has something to do with the acoustics. Perhaps this is what makes it seem like we are singing like the best. But leaving the acoustics aside in the equation, there seems to be another reason. Since we are we are frequently alone when we are in the shower, and there is no one there to judge, say anything, or express an opinion, maybe this is the true reason This makes me wonder:
If no one judged us in our job, or in life, what would we be capable of achieving?
Would we be more uninhibited and daring, as occurs when we sing in the shower?
2) Exactly what does it mean to do something “right”, whether it be singing, dancing, or any other activity? Doesn’t it have something to do with simply enjoying it? It has always seemed interesting to me that there is a “correct” way to dance Salsa, but when it comes to dancing Rock and Roll, anything goes. In the case of Salsa, maybe it is because people dance for others, who are watching; while for those who dance Rock and Roll, they do it for the simply sensational sensation it provokes, with no other intention.
3) If we want to be a professional singer, and not just sing for pleasure, it is important to find someone who can orient and help us to develop our voice. In pleasure, and in work, we should look for experts and for their advice and direction. Imagine for a moment:
What would your results be if you thought and acted like the best in whatever it is you want to do?
Would you stay stuck where you are right now, or would you go for the gold, reaching for more?
As a final thought, we all have a special gift to do something in life. Most important is not the gift we have been given, rather sharing it with the others so we are actors, rather than a spectators, in the theater of life. Dance as if no one were looking and sing to to feel good, regardless of who is listening, because in the end, it isn’t so important how good we sing or dance, rather that we sing and dance to feel good.
We are like a tree growing in the middle of the woods. We are both the result of only a few seeds which succeeded in germinating and surviving.
Like the tree, which starts from a small seed, opens its doors and lets its root search for its destiny, we too begin in a very similar way. In both cases, after a magical process, we are born into the world seeing light for the very first time. To come into the world, the tree digs its root deep into the soil and then springs forth its first leaves toward the sun. As for you and I, we come into the light of the world kicking and screaming, stretching our limbs and thus filling our lungs.
The tree grows slowly, defending itself as it may from dangers which can in an instant take it away. We too are very delicate initially, and in an instant can suffer a fatal blow. In time, the tree grows; and with the help of the wind, sun, and the grace of God, strengthens its branches, growing more and more leaves. Our growth is similar to that of the tree and too with the wind, the sun, and the grace of God, we become the the people we are today.
Then a magical process occurs within the tree, an important time in the development of the tree comes, and without warning it sprouts a flower. So too in our transition from a child to adolescent, our bodies also flower in their own special way. As a result of the incredible precesses of fertilization and pollination, the tree begins to produce fruit, each with seed of life inside. Similarly, we also develop the same seed of hope which from comes from the inside out.
Many times, the fruit falls from the tree, staying close by, while others it is taken by birds or other animals, near and far. As for our seed, sometimes it nary gets to the corner, while others it also is spread far and wide. When the tree gets larger, the production of its bounty also increases and with it the amount of fruit and seeds it offers the world. In time, we too have more ability to spread our seeds over the vastness of humanity.
In its wake, the tree of time leaves some seeds which no doubt become majestic trees in their own right, assuring survival of its species. In other cases its fruit and seeds are eaten and enjoyed, while in others they simply rot and disintegrate into the ground, without even a sound.
As a testament to our lives, some of our seeds become children, yet many more of our seeds are shared in the form of what we say and do daily; some which are sown carefully and others of which are simply left scattered along the way without a second thought.
Just as a large tree produces well-being with an abundance of fruit and the protection of its shade, we too can be generous, giving of ourselves to nourish others and too by giving them the protection of our shade. As is the case with trees in time, the seeds we sow today grow and become tomorrow’s eternity.
Who has not, at some point in time, thought or wondered about their “roots”?
Upon hearing this word, perhaps as is my case, you think about the book and television series ROOTS by Alex Haley, where he he explored his own “roots,” taking him back to Africa.
Fortunate are those of us who have had a chance to get to know our parents and grandparents. While our relation with each might be good, bad, or non-existent; what is certain, is that the person we are, comes in great part from who they were. From our DNA, determining our physical characteristics, to our temperament and character, everything we are has its roots in our relatives.
Have you thought about your ancestors which came before your parents and grandparents?
Have you ever imagined what their lives were like, so many years ago?
Recently I have fanned the fire of interest I have had with respect to my own “roots.” My journey has taken me more than 250 years into the past, covering ten generations. As I read over the lives of each of the people I encounter, on the pages of my own history, my imagination goes beyond the facts and figures indicating birth, marriage, and death dates. I think about the lives each of them had while they wandered the earth we now inhabit. Surely, they went through ups and downs in life, similar to the ones you and I have now.
While each of us have many “roots,” and each takes us do a different part of our past, the one related to my last name traces back to Belfast, Ireland, where my earliest known McBride ancestor, Samuel McBride, was born in 1749. He came to the United States on a ship from Ireland, in the summer of 1772, arriving into Newcastle, Deleware, on August 20. Subsequently he settled on and farmed a 6oo acre tract of land close to what is now New Bedford, Pennsylvania, close to the border with Ohio.
Samuel kept a diary which was subsequently read by one of his descendants, Dr. Cooper Fenimore McBride, who discovered the diary while he was compiling a book called, THE RECORD OF SAMUEL McBRIDE. The book he wrote was subsequently published in 1891. The author gave a copy of the book to my great grandfather’s uncle in 1895, who in turn gave it to my great grandfather. My great grandfather, gave it to my father, who subsequently gave the book to me, several years before his death.
Upon reviewing each of the pages in the book, time passes before my eyes as I read the accounts of men who gave their lives in war and women who invested theirs in nurturing their families. Some lived a very brief existence, while others lived great tales of persistence and excellence.
Reading about each person, it’s interesting to imagine how much transpired in each of their lives between the two dates indicating their birth and their death. They were men and women who woke up every morning with the song of birds in the air and the sight of dawn’s brilliantly changing light. Certainly they experienced the sadness which comes with difficult loss, and too the exhilaration from great gain. They went out into the world daily to put food on the table and came home with sweat on their brow. They greeted their family and then washed off the dirt to get ready for dinner. While the details of each are quite different, the result is the same. You and I came from these people who once wandered the Earth, just as you and I do now.
Our being begins with those who are now but names on a page. Going through each line of our ancestry, we find people from many walks of life, each leaving their footprints along the way. Each likely had a love lost, and another that prospered; a road traveled, and another left for another day. To sum it up, a life lived and a story told.
How are you doing with your story of life?
When future generations come to your page in history, what will they do?
Will they deem your story worthy of their time, or will they simply turn to the next page?
Just as those who once walked the face of the earth are part of our roots, so too will we be the roots of future generations. The footsteps we leave, be they of love and well-being, or anger and hate; will be all that is left when our time here is done. It depends on us whether our footsteps will be held up high in esteem, or forgotten and erased by the sand of time.
Would you like to have the wherewithal to get up and shake off any weight you have on your shoulders, continuing on with courage whenever necessary?
We all need to motivate ourselves. We can read books, go to seminars or courses, and even pound ourselves on the chest to lift our spirits; nevertheless, the truth is that the face we see each morning in the mirror is our own, and no other. The reflection which comes back with enthusiasm or apathy is a direct result of our ability to manage difficulty.
Anyone can navigate calm waters with ease. On the other hand, only the valiant keep afloat through a terrible storm. Although we all know we should turn lemons into lemonade, we aren’t always able to do it. To be among the valiant, those who taste the sweet sensation of success, I have an exercise which, if you do follow my instructions, could change your life in a positive way forever…
Are these big words?
Does this sound like a good idea?
I challenge you to do the following without thinking twice about it, and in this instant. If you can’t do it right now, do it in the next 24 hours:
Take 9 sheets of paper, either letter or legal size
Fold the sheets once, on the longest side
When you open the pages, you will have a small book
Punch holes in the “spine”
Tie the pages together with ribbon of your choice
In this small book, I suggest you to do an exercise which can stay with you forever, as a special gift. In this case, I am merely the provider of the method, you are the one who will give life to this gift you will give to yourself. What I ask you do is quite simple, but it takes perseverance and tenacity, so it is far from easy.
On the cover of the book, I suggest you give it a title like:
MY LITTLE BOOK
OF SUCCESS
Or in my case, I call it:
BEST OF THE BEST
SEEDS OF SUCCESS
In your small book, without counting the entire first page which surrounds the book, making up the front and back covers, inside there are 32 pages to write thoughts and ideas which can inspire you whenever you like.
To complete the exercise, every day take a quote you like and write it on one of the 32 pages inside. If you write down one thought a day, in one month, you will have your own Little Book of Success which you can take with you wherever you go, to read and consider whenever you feel you need a shot of energy, motivation, or just to feel good.
Do you want to play?
The quotes can come from books you have read or phrases you have heard, they can be from a song or perhaps a biblical verse. You are also always welcome to visit my WEB page (www.RobMcBride.net) where you can search for one or more words in the SEARCH bar, at the top right hand side of the page, and no doubt something of interest will come up.
Do this exercise to create your own Little Book of Success. The process will be a wonderful game you can play with yourself to find the thoughts which will light a fire to your inner desire.
Great achievements are made with small steps. Great presence is replete with our inner essence. When we are willing to make small sacrifices in the short-term, our path becomes a living dream full of inspiration.
Will you pass the test?
If your answer is yes, I would love to see your Little Book of Success!
We tend to dream about an “ideal” life, nevertheless, this idyllic state is different for each of us. While some have already reached their dream, or are perhaps very close, others are just starting their journey. Whatever the case may be, we should be firm with our dreams and flexible in our plans to get them.
Our dreams begin from an early age, when we love to dream about being policemen, firemen, dancers, doctors, astronauts and a plethora of other professions. As we grow, we form a vision of the world, and our dreams frequently change. Along the way, we find “good people” with “wise words” and “good intentions,” who take it upon themselves to tell us why we will never reach our dreams. Because of this, we often decide to change the direction of our desires to something more “reasonable, sure, and less risky.” In turn, we become slaves to the fear of failure.
Nevertheless, while excuses abound and we love to blame someone else for our failures, ultimately we are the only ones who can determine our future.
Have you ever wanted to do something different from what you are doing now?
If you are like the majority of us, you have had various changes in your plans along the way. If you have been able to maintain firm with your dreams and your direction, congratulations! Few are able to follow the beat of their own drum, despite what others say.
Is there anything wrong with being an astronaut, or any other profession we dreamed about when we were younger?
If we look around us, many people are doing what we once dreamed about. Following the example of the astronaut, surely the path to become one is not easy, but it is possible. In fact, there are many people who have been launched into outer space and most have lived to talk about it. As such, if they have done it, we can too. Though perhaps no one in our city, state, or country may have been an astronaut, we can be the first to do so.
Whatever our dream might be, there is at least one way to achieve it. As Walt Disney said:
“If you can dream it, you can achieve it.”
As an analogy, imagine our goal is to “summit” the peak of a huge mountain. There may be one road which is easier than the rest and used by most, but this does mean it has to be our path. Think about the top of any mountain you are familiar with. How many ways are there to get there? From a mathematical point of view, the possibilities are infinite.
There may be storms blocking our way, routes requiring specialized equipment, options demanding additional effort, and paths interminably long. Nevertheless, if our dream firmly in mind and our objective to get to the top is strong, there will always be a way to achieve our objective. Important is to not “lose ourselves” along the way and to be congruent in our thoughts, actions and principles as we go.
Many times we become flexible, changing our dreams according to the weather, the environment, and the general opinion of others. Though flexible with our dreams, many times we are rigid in our way of doing things, while maintaining the same routines. As a result, we become tired and frustrated.
It is better to be firm with our objectives and dreams, while being flexible with the plans we implement to reach them. Being at peace with ourselves, tenacious in our actions, congruent with our principles, and firm in our dreams; there is no doubt we can reach the summit of anything we desire.
We all want success. Since we are small, we begin to dream about what we see on television and to want what is offered in the constant bombardment of marketing we are subjected to. Soon we realize there is a great difference between staying “stuck in the desire” and living the dream.
While our dreams are varied, several factors can lead us to live them. The first thing we must do to achieve any dream is to believe in our ability to obtain it. Without first believing it possible, likely it will remain as a mere illusion, never becoming reality.
Do you doubt you can do what another has already done, or arrive where another has arrived?
Depending on the price we have to pay to achieve the dream, we decide whether or not to pursue it. If we are willing to go after it, there is no doubt we can do what anybody else has achieved and much more. Biologically speaking, we are all the same. Despite being born and raised in different environments and cultures, there is nothing stopping us from achieving what we want.
After believing our dream is possible, we must determine a specific plan of action. With our objective firmly in mind, establishing a series of actions allows us to get closer little by little.
Suppose the following is our dream:
SURF WITH EACH SUNRISE AND SUNSET
Have you dreamed about this kind of lifestyle?
At first glance, the idea might seem absurd and far-fetched, nevertheless, never doubt it can be done, as there are many who currently do so.
A good place to start would be to to determine where we could make a living close to the ocean. What country, state, or city gives us the best opportunities to live the “surfer’s lifestyle”? Next, we could investigate job opportunities in the area. Among the options available might be working in a restaurant or on the beach giving surfing lessons. At the same time, we could work in our profession (doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc.) in the area we choose.
The possibilities are infinite and the more we study and investigate our chosen activity or profession, the broader our possibilities become.
Not even the sky is the limit. Nevertheless, our main limitations tend to be our own beliefs and even “friends” or family members, who seem to gain some strange pleasure in telling us everything “we can’t do and will never be able to achieve,” instead of encouraging us to pursue our dreams and desires.
Finally, and most importantly, we need to “get to work” and take action. We could enroll in a course preparing us for our chosen activity and begin planning a trip to “test the waters.”
If we want to surf, we must first be willing to get up on the board, knowing we may fall off. Similarly, we must be willing to get up on the board of life, knowing full well there are risks involved.
Those who live the dream we have today made decisions at some point of their lives leading them to live the dream others only imagine. It’s not enough to have a dream, we must wake up, making decisions and taking actions to live it.
Like the drop which fills the glass, each day is like a drop filling our glass of life.
The day we are born, the first glorious drop falls into our glass; and the day we part, the glass finally overflows, after finally reaching the top.
Some glasses are miniature, filling and then overflowing in a very short period of time. Others are enormous, filling day after day, year after year. Finally, comes the day when the contents spill over in a spectacular waterfall marking our passing to the other side.
Whatever the case may be, each day fills our glass. While each drop seems to be insignificant, in reality, each is extremely important. Days filled with love and good intention fill our glass with a pure, clear liquid. On the contrary, days filled with hate and bad intention add tainted and toxic drops. Perhaps one are two drops may not seem to have much effect, but depending on their toxicity, they can contaminate the rest of the glass.
If we are happy with our glass, and its contents, we need only continue as we are. If not, the good news is we can always throw out the liquid inside, clean the glass, dry it out and begin again.
Those who attempt to “treat” contaminated water by simply adding new good, clean drops, without taking out the bad, generally fail in the attempt. Sometimes it is necessary to first eliminate what is toxic before adding what is good.
Can you see how life is like a glass?
Have you thought about the drops in your glass?
Are they clean and clear, or cloudy and toxic?
Are your drops worthy of being remembered and shared or would it be better to empty the glass and begin again?
We are responsible for the drops filling the existence of our being. Our daily actions determine the quality and purity of the liquid in our glass. Each drop has the capacity to add or detract value. We can be aware of each drop we add, and in this way increase the quality of our lives.
Our glass will lay testimony to the person we were. The drops of love we distill will be those which later overflow from our glass and become a constant spring of well-being to be remembered by future generations.
We are all born with a brain capable of doing an infinite number of things and from the time we are young, it helps us survive. For example, the brain tells us that when we are hungry, we should eat; and when there is danger, that we should fight or flee. In this same way, it accompanies us on our journey through life constantly analyzing every situation and giving us “suggestions,” which we may or may not follow. We don’t necessarily have to eat when we are hungry, nor do we have to fight or flee when there is danger, but nevertheless our brain continually gives us options.
Have you ever thought about the number of drops of water it takes to fill a river? Each one by itself, separate and apart, doesn’t do much, but together they create majestic rivers and magnificent lakes.
Do what is in your power to manage each situation as it arises, giving your best effort daily. To get to where we want to go, we will get there more pleasantly and with less fatigue when we focus only on getting just beyond the next bend in the road.
Media bombards us daily with trouble where we live and abroad. In addition to all the world’s challenges, we must also resolve our own economic, social, and emotional necessities. Despite all the noise, I have a proposal…
As I walked outside, nice and early, just before dawn, I saw how one of my favorite stars, Sirius, twinkled to greet me on the eastern horizon. I raised my gaze and saw Orion’s Belt, right where it’s supposed to be, pointing the way to Sirius. After some stretching and “Sun Saluting,” I prepared a nice hot cup of aromatic coffee which impregnated the air, with the promise of its wonderful flavor.
Be careful of where you step, for there you will leave footprints
Do this exercise to create your own Little Book of Success. The process will be a wonderful game you can play with yourself to find the thoughts which will light a fire to your inner desire.
Our dreams begin from an early age, when we love to dream about being policemen, firemen, dancers, doctors, astronauts and a plethora of other professions. As we grow, we form a vision of the world, and our dreams frequently change. Along the way, we find “good people” with “wise words” and “good intentions,” who take it upon themselves to tell us why we will never reach our dreams. Because of this, we often decide to change the direction of our desires to something more “reasonable, sure, and less risky.” 
Soon we realize there is a great difference between staying “stuck in the desire” and living the dream.
Biologically speaking, we are all the same. Despite being born and raised in different environments and cultures, there is nothing stopping us from achieving what we want.
Have you dreamed about this kind of lifestyle?
