Have you wondered why some people are able to overcome difficulty more easily than others?
Like a palm tree shaken by a storm that bends but does not break, we too can learn how to do to the same. Following are some suggestions to help you handle adversity and grow in the process:
- Remember that nothing is forever. The same way the year has seasons and these come and go, so too occurs with the storms of life; they have a beginning and an end. Like when a wonderful sunny day suddenly becomes completely overcast, the same thing can happen to us. You can go from feeling like you are on top of the world looking down, and in an instant, as the result of a word, a look, or a silence suddenly feel like you are groveling on the ground. This is when it is wise to remember the Chinese proverb: “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”
- Ask yourself, “What is right about this situation?” Regardless of the challenge, do this exercise. No matter how bad the news, and while it may seem impossible, find out what is good about the situation. We consider some things to be “bad”, but in the end they could be the source of something good. Imagine that your spouse tells you, “I’m fed up! I want to leave and live my life with someone else.” While this appears to be tough at first and perhaps you would prefer to never have to go through it, this news can open an opportunity to meet other people who very well could be much more compatible with you.
- Think about those who have gone through something similar. Another way to bend without breaking in the process is to think of those who have faced the same situation, or even worse, than what we face right now. Do you think you are the only one with problems? Do you think you are the only one in the world who has lost a loved one or made a mistake on something important? Well, I’ve got news for you, you are not! Right now, there are almost eight billion people in the world and I can assure you that among them many have gone through equal or worse circumstances. Most interesting is that these difficulties have been overcome in some way, shape, or form by many of them.
- Realize death as inevitable. Though I know it’s not nice to talk about this, regardless of our age, economic or social status, losing someone close to us is difficult. There isn’t any way to paint as something positive about it. Nevertheless, it is completely natural and happens with some frequency. The idea isn’t to be morbid, or negative about death, but rather realistic. In your experience, what generally happens in the world after someone dies? In mine, life goes on, and certainly when our time comes to “pass on over to the other side,” the same will happen.
It’s not easy to bend without breaking, but it’s not impossible. I know of no magic wand which will eliminate all of the problems you might have, but it is possible to diminish the magnitude of the effect adversity has on you. When you but your difficulties into perspective, generally you see that it is not the end of the word, rather a lesson to be learned and this can enable you to bend without breaking.
∞ Rob McBride ∞
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